Melanie R. Meadors

Unstuck

2012-02-20T19:24:00.002-05:00

I've kind of fallen off the face of the Earth--sorry about that. I've thought about blogging several times this week, but I decided the time would be better spent working on my story.

I was a bit stuck with the thing. Things were going SO well for a while that it took me by surprise when I woke up one morning and said, "Wow, this thing is just a huge pile of junk!" I worked and worked, trying to figure out why it was junk, to no avail.

Finally, I accidentally came upon the solution.

I was sick of being stuck on the story, so I closed the file for a couple days and started working on my novel again for a bit. I think it was about five days or so. Then, I knew I had to make a decision. Did I want to enter WOTF this quarter? The answer was yes. I had two story possibilities (but not really--the second choice was a really cliched fantasy story I had started a couple years ago). So last night, I sat down and read the 10k words I have of my science fiction story (the one I was stuck on), and I realized it really wasn't so bad. I cut out a little bit, some extra stuff that didn't really have to do with the central plot problem, and I felt so much better about it. This afternoon I was able to write about 1,000 words on it, and I feel like I'm back in the game.

So, in case I don't remember next time: if I get stuck writing a story, put it away for a couple days and look at it again with rested eyes!

Releasing another myth to the wind...

2012-02-07T09:21:00.004-05:00

I don't know about you, but my writing life started out like this:

I read and read and read when I was little. I DEVOURED books. Then, characters started appearing in my imagination, but instead of developing imaginary friends, I would start writing about them. I would fill notebooks upon notebooks with stories and poems and everything else "writable." I never ran out of things to write about.

I wrote this way through college. I never even thought of writing for living, because, heh, who did that? Maybe a few people, but regular mortals like myself? There was no way. That was OK, because I was having fun with my writing. As I said, the thought of being published never even occurred to me.

Then, after I was married and had my son, I had a paradigm shift of sorts. I started writing short stories, and I thought, "This isn't so bad..." I submitted a few pieces. Some even got published, though not for payment. Still, I could tell people that they could go to Barnes and Noble and buy the magazine with my story in it.

Then, I made the mistake of signing up for my first writing workshop online.

It wasn't a mistake because it was a bad workshop. Quite the opposite, it was good, and I met friends on there I still have today. But it was there where I first started hearing about these "rules." There were rules for everything pertaining to writing. And I mean EVERYTHING. The best time to write. The order in which to write your stories. Outlining. The list is endless. And silly me, I tried to follow the rules, because, hey, what did I know? These were Big Name Writers telling me this stuff. They had to know, right?

My notebooks, upon notebooks of stories? Well, I tried to follow the rules. My writing began to dwindle. A notebook. Soon, I felt like I couldn't do anything unless I could do it RIGHT. I became a total writing perfectionist, and then--poof.

Over the past year, I have thrown out the rules (well, not really. They are on a shelf over my desk). I've really been on a mission to re-discover how *I* write, not how I should write if I wanted to be just like so-and-so. What can be really frustrating is that I don't even remember at times that I used to write a certain way, or that I CAN write that way. The "rules" have been so ingrained into my brain that I'm like a zombie. "No... writing... out...of... order..." and things like that.

The myth (or "rule") that I am letting go of right now is that I must only have one work in progress going at any given time. I'm sorry. I just don't work this way, and never have.

In high school and college I always had about three stories going at once. If I got stuck on one, I'd just move to another. And it didn't distract me from finishing them. I finished the stories. What it did accomplish was allowing me to not feel stuck. It let my brain work on something else for a while. Meantime, whatever was hanging me up with the other story would work itself out. In a few days, I'd be ready to work on that thing again. I know that not everyone can work like that. Maybe very few people work like that, I don't know. But that is how *I* work.

If I have only one story going at a time, then if I'm stuck on it, I really feel stuck, and just stop writing for days. What does that accomplish? It takes the same amount of time for my brain to work the problem out, and in the meantime, I could be writing something else. Plus, working like that is really discouraging for me. I get very stressed when I am not writing.

I'm not saying to just quit and move on to something when the going gets tough. That's called avoidance, and it's not what I'm referring to. The story is still in my mind, it's still being worked through. If you find yourself going to another project, to another project, to another, and never going back, and never finishing things, I would say that this would not work for you. The key is, you always go back to the project in a little while.

So part of my M.O. is this: always have a back up story. It keeps the words flowing, it keeps writing fun, and it makes me happy. As I said, it doesn't work for every one. Nothing works for every one; we're all different, and work in different ways.

What works for you?

One thing or another....

2012-02-06T20:32:00.003-05:00

Sheesh, it seems like it's always something. But I feel a little more relaxed now, so hopefully more will be accomplished.

I'm still plowing on with my short story (which is actually not so short anymore... I took a break to critique a couple of stories, and to make hats for homeless veterans in my city. I'm feeling a little frustrated because this story doesn't seem to want to be rushed. I haven't been feeling any of the emotion, any of the excitement, that I usually feel about a story at this point. There is just something missing here. I think I'm going to have to stop thinking about there being a deadline, and start just letting the story unfold the way it needs to.

Two of my novels are screaming for my attention, and it's hard to decide which one I should work on first. Well, after I'm done with this short story, of course. The one I think I want to do first is a science fiction novel with a bit of a romantic element to it (not enough for it to actually be a romance, though). It plays out in my head like a movie, I think it is about ready to come out. I have actually written a fair amount of it, but it is a shell of a story. Like, it didn't know what it wanted to be when it grew up, but now it does.

Another struggle--I am trying to decide if I should try to enter Writers of the Future every quarter this year or if I should work on the novels that are really calling to me. I should be able to do both. Maybe if I stop watching Wil Wheaton singing Soft Kitty, I'd have time...

New story on Smashwords

2012-01-27T22:14:00.002-05:00

(and coming soon to Kindle and Nook)

Blood and Ashes (literary flash fiction)

Every Wednesday...

2012-01-25T09:28:00.002-05:00

I wake up and think it's Thursday. Which is my version of Friday, so I get all excited. Then I realize it is only Wednesday. It makes me rather grumpy.

But, the writing has been going so well, I can't complain about anything else (especially since the Chief has been behaving himself relatively well; that always makes things better!). Since Saturday, I've written and rearranged 10,000 words. Granted, some of them are junk words, and are destined for the recycling bin, but still, 10k words is great for me. This story, however, is just taking forever to write. I keep making discoveries, I keep finding new layers to put into it, all of which are good for the story, but bad for things like deadlines and for the fact that I have some very nice people waiting to critique it. I really REALLY hope to be done by the weekend, but at this point I have no idea if that is realistic. Well, to tell you the truth, I'm just going to have to MAKE it realistic, because I have to catch up with other things!

So, my main goal for the rest of the week is to finish this story, I don't care how many words or hours it takes! I also have to crit the stories that come my way (heh I have two shorts and a novel waiting for me...).

Guess I'd better get to work!

Can't think of a title right now.

2012-01-22T11:04:00.003-05:00

I had a goal of writing 5,000 words this weekend. So far I am doing great, I'm over halfway there. This draft of my story is probably going to be close to 10k words when all is said and done, but I won't be surprised if about a third of that gets cut. I wrote a lot of backstory in there mostly for my benefit. I'm going to have to go back through and weave it in a bit more and get rid of the stuff that doesn't move the story forward.

I actually did not find it extremely hard to get the words in this weekend, which leads me to believe that there is no reason I can't do this every weekend (maybe 4k rather than 5k words, though, I don't know). Also, I can have an actual word goal every day, rather than a time goal. 500 words is really easy for me to get through on most days. I think 1000 is probably the right way to go. It's hard but not too hard. If I set goals that are too easy, I tend to get really lazy about them.

So, this week. I MUST finish this draft of my story TODAY. Maybe tomorrow if absolutely necessary. Then I need to read over it, make a few minor adjustments, and send it out to be critted by some trusted readers. Meanwhile, I can get to work finishing a fantasy story I had started a while back. This story I am going to indie publish; it's just the wrong length for the fantasy magazines out there, and it's not the kind of story that I think would do well in Writers of the Future. I also need to crit a few stories, including a novel by a friend. Phew! Then of course, after I get my story critiqued, I will work on some changes there, too.

I've been having some paradigm shifts, and I really feel like I am getting back to the place I WAS a few years ago, before life started going nuts. I think my writing life hasn't been normal since 2007. Right at the point things started to go really well for me, everything exploded (moving, special needs, family stuff, etc). Ah, well. C'est la vie, right? The only thing to do is look forward (other than looking back to see what went wrong so it doesn't happen again!). I'm back to feeling like this is a profession, rather than something I just "do."

When the dog bites, When the bee stings...

2012-01-18T09:49:00.003-05:00

Uh oh, I'd better watch out. If SOPA/PIPA passes, that title might get me screwed.

Yesterday was NOT the best of days. In fact, it was the worst in quite a while. But, I did not let it beat me. After the Chief (my son) went to bed, I sat down and wrote 1665 words in my new science fiction story. I extended my deadline a little. I am going to try to have this thing done by Monday (originally I wanted it done by Saturday). I just need the weekend to get a big chunk done. I know I'll need a full day to make sure everything is in order, and to make sure everything says what it should be saying. My manuscript is about 3,300 words so far, and I think in the end it will be about 6k or so. Maybe a bit more. A have a bunch of it written in longhand, and so typing that up won't be hard. I think I'm getting a more clear view of my process. What I do in longhand could be considered my version of an outline. It is written like a story, but it is bare bones. When I type it up, I add in at least twice as many words in details and characterization, setting stuff, etc. One thing I've been determined to do this year is to get a hold of MY writing process, not what every one else does. So far, I am pleased to see that it is working.

I've been getting my hour of writing in. As I said, I am going to work on doing two hours, which I did do last night. If I try doing 1,000 words and two hours, I think it is very doable. In the process of finding more writing time, I am going to start 1) limiting my internet time somehow, and 2) not watching movies with the husband every night. I LIKE watching movies with him, but he has his music to work on, and I have my writing. We can do weekend movies or something.

I'm planning on doing some posts about simplicity in the future, because I think it has a direct impact on being able to have time for everything that is important, and also, on BALANCE and not letting one area of life completely consume everything. I think this is important to people even when they do not have an ASD kid, or homeschool, or things that consume my time. Everyone has something that seems to take over, not allowing them to have any time for themselves. I'd like to share what works for me.

Now, back to work!

Sunday Musings

2012-01-15T10:34:00.003-05:00

Phew, it's been a busy week. Between making hats (see Monkeys on a Mission), making a baby outfit for a certain someone, TRYING to keep up with the housework (trying being the operative word), homeschooling, and a stream of other things, I'm glad I survived (only to do it all again next week). I even continued my goal of writing for an hour a day.

After some thinking, I've decided it's not realistic for me to start a new project while typing up this current manuscript. The typing, for me, is also a creative part of the process because I fill in the details that make the actual story come to life. For me, at least, it is a right brained process, and so I am going to count the time I spend typing as writing time. If I was just typing words in, and not adding anything, I would say it wouldn't count, but as I am seeing in the past couple days, hundreds of new words are appearing in the manuscript.

I now have three of my older stories that were published a few years ago up on Amazon, Smashwords, and Barnes and Noble. You can see the links on the right sidebar of this blog. "Turtle Child" was the first story of mine to be published in a "real" magazine (though I didn't make anything from it, you could still go to your national chain bookstore and buy a copy), so it was nice to be able to get that out there again. The same with "Swift as a Shadow..." These stores are all fantasy, which I haven't been writing very much of lately. I'm more on a science fiction roll right now.

Slowly I am going to try to morph my goals of writing for a certain amount of time per day into a goal of writing so many words per day. The first step has been carving out that time in my schedule, though, and so far it has been working out. I'd like to try to get more work done during the day. An hour at night and an hour during the day should be easily feasible. Sometimes during the day my son has other plans, however. It was really easy when he played Wii in the afternoons, but we have cut that out of our day, because with his ASD issues, it wasn't working. He would become obsessed with the games and would play them all day, even in his head. He would lose interest in everything else. Even when he played with his friends, he would become extremely inflexible because things didn't go the way the game in his head said they should. So no more of that. We'll just have to figure something else out.

My current short story is close to being done. I should definitely be able to meet my goal of having it done by the end of this week. As I said, the goal of an hour per day seems to be pretty easily attainable, even with all this stuff keeping me busy. I thought it would be way harder. So, I think maybe next week or in a couple weeks, it will be time to re-evaluate things and increase that goal to two hours per day.

It's only Wednesday?

2012-01-11T08:47:00.002-05:00

I woke up this morning convinced it was Thursday. Meaning, one day closer to Friday. Ah, well.

My ROW 80 goals are going very well so far. I've been writing every night. I'm expecting a hang-up to come when I need to start typing all this stuff out, but maybe that can happen on the weekend when my husband is able to watch my son for a while and keep him amused. It's going to be a shift from writing all new words at night to typing/editing words during the day and writing new words at night (separating things like this will hopefully keep the two sides of my brain in their proper place). It also means that I might be working on two stories at once, which I haven't done in a while. Really, though it depends on how things go. I'm thinking that when I type the story up, it will be a right-brained process because I'll be writing stuff IN, like details, and things that I left out in the rush of getting the first draft down. If that is the case, then I will hold off on writing a new story (maybe I'll take some notes or something) until I'm done typing.

I have two stories up on Smashwords and hopefully that number will rise to four by next week. I'm also trying to get them on Amazon and BN, but so far "Roots" is the only one there. These stories will be fantasy for the most part. My science fiction stories are busy at the moment. The stories I'm publishing independently will be stories that had been published elsewhere years in the past, or that don't quite fit into a current market. I'll keep people posted on here when something new comes up. You can always look in the right sidebar and there will be links.

So, what is my mini-goal for the rest of the week? Basically, as I said, get this longhand draft of my short story done, and start typing by Sunday the latest. I want to get another short onto Smashwords by Sunday too, which shouldn't be difficult.

And, I want to get more sleep.

New Ebook on Smashwords and Amazon

2012-01-09T09:05:00.004-05:00

I have a short story up on Smashwords, and hopefully soon on Amazon as well. Details in the right sidebar of this blog, or HERE.

Edited to add: "Roots" is indeed live now on Amazon.

Sweating Bullets... a check in

2012-01-08T16:52:00.003-05:00

ROW 80 update: I have been doing very well with my ROW 80 goals. I've written an hour per night since the thing began, and though I am not an extremely fast writer, the pages are piling up. I feel really good about it. Last night, I was tired, I really didn't feel like writing. But I MADE myself write for the whole hour. It wasn't so bad.

During the day for the last two days, I've been learning how to use Smashwords. I think I am going to start putting some of my back list and some of my older fantasy stories up there, just so they can be out there for people to see. I've been learning about the formatting necessary and how to make cover art. It's fairly simple, but a little stressful at the same time just because it is new for me.

This article from Discover is pretty cool. I tell my son all the time, if he is curious about space, try looking more closely at the Earth. The Earth is a just another hunk of rock in space, after all. If life can exist here, it can exist elsewhere as well. Maybe not EVERYWHERE, but look at the plethora of environments that exist right here on our little planet. And we have found life in some of the most inhospitable places!

A New Year is Upon Us...

2012-01-05T18:09:00.003-05:00

*Note: These are slightly different goals from the ROW 80 ones. These are year long goals, that I will carry through until the end of 2012, whether I do ROW 80 or not.

I read this (it's three parts, so please go on to read all three parts) over on Dean Wesley Smith's blog, and have been thinking about it on and off for a couple days now.

Let me start by saying that last years writing goals did not work out the way I had hoped. Goals never do, but life seemed to throw me some weird curve balls last year, and left me dazed and confused. My successes: Well I earned an honorable mention from Writers of the Future. But that was pretty much it. I wrote ONE short story, and then some bits on random novels. I wrote a couple of really weak beginnings of things. But these things came no where near making 2011 the year I wanted it to be. I need to let last year go, though, and look forward to this one.

The first thing I have to do this year, the first goal, is to be able to let go of any old lingering expectations I had about life and accept things the way they are and work with what I have. I am a stay at home mom with a special needs child that I homeschool. I used to write for hours and hours a day, and now I'm lucky if I can get dressed ;). But I set myself a goal of writing for an hour a day, and it seems to be working really well. I actually am able to write more than that, but it is hard to keep track of the snippets of time throughout the day I can grab as writing time, so I don't. Most of my writing hour happens after everyone is in bed (including me! LOL, I am a bed-writer). So,

Goal #1a: Write for an hour a day, and feel lucky that I HAVE that hour to write in. Don't expect anything more, but gladly accept anything that comes my way.

Something I learned from last year, too, is that if I set a goal of "enter WOTF every quarter," then that's all I did. I would spend that whole quarter messing around, and write one story which I would submit. I need to not do that this year. So,

Goal #1b: That hour per day is for NEW WORDS. Editing and stuff like that I know I can do during the day (we have quiet time, which we are really working on, and it looks like it will be a success, so I will do editing and all that kind of work during that hour). I would really love to have a nice arsenal of short stories by the end of the year, way more than the four necessary for entering WOTF each quarter.

Really, that's about it, a two parted single goal. I don't really need a goal for submitting, I am doing that already and don't really have a problem with it. My DREAM for 2012 would be to make 2 pro sales or to win WOTF ;). But those things I only have so much power over, and the best way for them to happen, on my end, is to keep writing!

Blast off!

2012-01-04T09:07:00.003-05:00

No, I'm not talking about the rocket experiment my son and I did yesterday, though that was pretty fun in itself (it was part one of two). The one with the balloon hooked to the straw on a string? We were learning about the recoil principle. Today (hopefully it will warm up...) we are going to be learning about chemically propelled rockets. Oh, yes, there will be an experiment :).

No, I am talking about ROW 80. I'm off to a pretty good start. I managed to write for at least an hour per day over the last couple days, and am getting really close to discovering the story I am supposed to write. For those of you not familiar with this concept, it's a pantsing thing. I just sit there and let the voices in my head say whatever they will, and I simply record it. Well, it's actually not THAT unstructured. First I do have a general idea. I have a main character, and she has a voice. There is usually some catalyst incident, which may or may not appear in the actual finished story, but which is important to that character's development as a person, and it is important to discovering what his or her problem is. I will write about that thing, in the character's voice, until something starts to really take shape. For example, last night, I was continuing to write about when my character was a teen, and about a major decision she made. I can't give away to much info, but there were things about her family's values and her values, etc. I wasn't sure where I was going with it, but it is important to just write everything down and not censor myself at this point. I knew that probably none of it would make it into the final draft, but that's OK. This work is vital to the real story, the story that will grow from this stuff. Let's call it manure, because really, that's what it is :). Then suddenly, a random scene popped into my head, which did not seem related to the previous stuff I was writing at all. That's OK. I just wrote it all down anyway, even though this character was much older, and seemed to be the opposite of what I going for. The main point of this thing seemed to be the opposite of what I was going for. Then, after writing that for about twenty minutes, it hit me, and everything started falling into place like a puzzle. I'm sorry, I can't really give too many details away, because a) when I talk about my writing, meaning specifics of a certain story, things go caput, and b) I just don't know who is reading this, but it would really stink if I let loose too many details and made myself ineligible for certain things. But, this is basically how stories begin for me. I know a lot of other people begin with outlines and character sketches, and I might do that a little later to keep the story organized, but it's not how I work initially. Which is fine. How boring would the world be if everyone did everything that same? I do envy the people a bit who can sit down, write an outline, fix things that don't work in the outline itself, and then just steamroll through the first draft, and not need to make very many changes. I've tried it that way many times, but all I get is a serious case of writer's block.

Anyway, I am not going to say, "So now that I have all this done I am just going to write and everything will be great!" I know it's not. I'm still going to be doing a lot of discovery over the next week or so, if I can keep my momentum up. But I am over one of the biggest hurdles, which is knowing what my story is about.

Hope everyone is having a good week!

Goal Post, ROW 80 2012, Round 1

2012-01-02T11:02:00.004-05:00

Without further ado (because I have to finish cleaning my house today before things have to go back to "normal" (whatever that is) tomorrow), my goals for this round of ROW 80:

1. Write for 1 hour per day. I have this rather than a word count goal. I think it will work better for me. I am going to try to have this in the afternoon when we have "quiet time," but I can also do it at night if the afternoon does not work out. And really, I will be writing for more than an hour, but I felt like I needed to put a minimum in here to keep it real ;).

2. Complete first draft of short story by January 21st. This is a science fiction story I am working on for this quarter of Writers of the Future. On the 21st, I will be sharing it with my critique partners.

3. Work on idea for next short story between January 22nd-28th. This will be while I wait for crits to come back from my writing groups. No real writing on this idea, yet. Just brainstorming.

4. Start work on 2nd draft of short story by January 29th, at the latest. If I get crits back earlier than this, I will work on this a little earlier, but I do need a break between drafts.

5. Finish second draft of short story around February 7th. Then I will send it back out for more people to rip it to shreds.

6. Work on final draft of short story as crits come in. In between, I will work some more on the next story.

7. On February 28th, send out final draft of short story to Writers of the Future.

8. From March 1st-22nd, work on next short story. I won't have this one finished until mid April or so, which goes into the next round of ROW 80.

Hopefully these goals are specific enough for me to be able to follow them, but flexible enough so that if I mess up, I can adjust things a bit and get back on track.

Hope everyone has a good new year, and best of luck with your goals for 2012, whatever they are!!

My official join-up post

2011-12-31T09:57:00.002-05:00

I am going to be ROWing the next 80 days (well, starting January 2nd).

For those of you who have no idea what I am talking about, ROW 80 is insider lingo for A Round of Words in 80 Days. It is a writing challenge for those of us who have lives. Sure, NaNoWriMo is a good idea... But what about those of us who have outside jobs, or who are parents (especially those who have kids who need special attention!), or who....well, just have LIVES? And yes, I suppose I can't really use that as my excuse for not doing NaNo. I do, after all, have several NaNo "wins" under my belt. But the other thing is that I have never done anything with those NaNo "wins." I have about six masses of words from past Novembers. They are big messes that I just can't bring myself to touch. I've come to the conclusion that I don't write well that way. I can't just dump 50,000 words into my computer for a month without looking back until it's all over. Though I have to say it is fun, and I might do it again in the future. Another thought on this is that being a writer is more than just dumping words for a month. There are 11 other months in the year.

There are 4 quarters to the year, there are 4 rounds to ROW 80. You set your own goals. For example, I am not working on a novel currently. I am doing short stories. So I will be setting my goals to deal with that. I have a specific market that I am writing for, so my goals can take that into account. I homeschool, I have a small business, and I have 4 neurotic rabbits who need attention. I can take all these things into account when I set my goals. SO, round one, here I come! I will be posting my goals when the time comes!

Today's cool thing: My husband and I watched this with our son this morning. I remember in college, working with a couple folks who were part of the Cassini/Huygens mission, and all the excitement that surrounded it. So, for your viewing pleasure, View of Titan from Huygens.

I'm-a back!

2011-12-29T17:29:00.003-05:00

So after my couple month hiatus, I am back to this world.

I wish I could say that on my break I accomplished big things. That I got picked up by a major publisher, that I wrote some amazing stories, that something HUGE happened. Sadly, that was not the case. And really, that wasn't meant to be the case. I took a break from writing because I had been having so much anxiety over it, and where things were going, and what was going to happen to the rest of my life... Over the past couple months I have done some charity work, which will be ongoing (see my Monkeys on a Mission blog for more details on that). My son and I have been learning a lot about space. One reason I love having a kid is that I can be excited about all this stuff again. Homeschooling makes it even MORE fun. The Chief is obsessed with space right now, and that makes me very happy :).

But, as time went on, and I tried hard to just separate Me from Writer-Me, I realized that it just wasn't meant to be. I can't *not* write. The stories go on in my head whether I write them down or not. That is a good thing. I took this break to make sure I was doing what I wanted to do, rather than doing what I was somehow stuck doing because I just hadn't bothered doing anything else.

So, I feel satisfied and will start the new year with a new short story, and a new goal for ROW 80.

New blog

2011-10-07T08:23:00.003-04:00

If you want to keep up with my current antics, visit my new blog, Peacefield Homestead I may use this blog here in the future, but right now, as a writing only blog, it's been collecting dust. Peacefield is more of an all purpose blog, covering all facets of my life, including writing, homeschooling, and simple living. Hope to see you all there!

Wow... (and some cool news!)

2011-09-08T16:35:00.004-04:00

Where has time gone?? Sorry it's been so long since I've posted on here. I had a truly busy time, trying to plan the school year for my son, the Chief's, homeschool. I've also been working a lot on our home and trying out ways to improve our self-sufficiency. Right now, I am trying to figure out what to do with my blogs. I have two blogs, one for writing (this one) and the other for homeschooling stuff and life. There never seems to be enough for either, and I go in waves, posting on one for a while, then going to the other. I'd like to combine them, and hopefully things won't be too boring for either group of readers. Not sure if this blog will be moving, or what exactly will be going on, but I will keep you all posted.

The cool news is that I received an honorable mention in the 3rd quarter of the 2011 Writers of the Future contest. Definitely a step in the right direction, and it feels good after having such a rough couple of years. The important thing I need to remember is that I don't have to follow every "should" in the book. For the past few months, every time I think about writing, my blood pressure spikes. I get anxiety, and I can't sleep at night. All because I'm trying to figure out the "right" thing to do, what the right next step is, etc. I need to breathe, take a step back, look at the big picture. I need to enjoy things more, instead of obsessing over "getting somewhere."

Let's make this a better week...

2011-07-24T09:23:00.002-04:00

It's Sunday. The start of a brand new week with no mistakes in it (to borrow a sentiment form Anne Shirley).

I was supposed to see Dr. Grymm at the Charles River Museum today, but one of the bearings in the Mel-mobile is going. Husband is fixing it, but it's such a long drive to drop the Chief off at his sitter's and then go up to Waltham and back that I don't think it's going to happen. Boooo.... Dr. Grymm will be there signing his new book (done with his wife), 1,000 Steampunk Creations.

Writing is going slow, but it IS going. It's hard to find a balance at this time of year because there are so many other distractions. I need to really figure out school stuff for the next year, and I need to get things organized for that. We are planning a new system, so I've been working on the logistics of that. And then of course, we have your normal summer distractions. Nine-year-old boys don't want to be cooped up in the house while mom writes, so the Chief goes outside to play. I don't want to get into intense writing mode while he's out, because heavens forbid I get into the Mel-zone...I don't notice anything else. I'm planning on making the big deadline for my story, but I'm letting little ones slip because it's just not happening. If I try to MAKE it happen, it just gets harder.

Tomorrow I am going to see the last Harry Potter movie. My friend want to see it in IMAX 3D. I told her I know where to turn if I have to hurl.

Goal: This week, back to the basics. I'm writing 5,000 words. If I finish my story by next Sunday, I will be a very happy steamer.

Who needs a title?

2011-07-20T09:48:00.004-04:00

I played hooky on Sunday, and did not check in. It would be interesting if I had some sort of cool excuse to give you, like Godzilla stepping on my house (though the kitchen certainly looked that way for a while...) or a time machine came and picked me up... Or the FLIES swooped down, and in a community effort carried me away to Fly-Land (and believe me, there are enough of them). But no, alas. I was simply lazy/busy/procrastinating. And it would be even MORE interesting if I could tell you I was busy WRITING this whole time, and in fact, it would in part be true, but it would ENTIRELY be true. So I won't tell you that.

Not that I HAVEN'T been writing, exactly. I've been writing a great deal, but it's all been nonsense. "The grass is greener" sort of things, where I say, "This story is not working, there must be something else that I can do in this short amount of time I have left to write this story (short meaning, technically, negative). So I went galavanting off and tested out the waters of a different story (yes I KNOW you're not supposed to do that!). And of course I failed, much to my frustration.

The good news is, once I returned to sanity, the story seems to be going along OK. I have no idea why I got so blocked all of a sudden. I do feel strangely unmotivated this week. But hopefully things will shape up, and I can get this darned story out.

Got three rejections in the past week... I'm shooting for at least ten before I retire that particular story (or try it out at the less than professional markets). The good news (well, it's not really GOOD, but it's not disheartening) is that these rejections came from some really competitive places, which were all in Duotrope's top 25 most difficult markets to get into. So I am in good company.

My revamped goal: Finish draft one of this darned story by next Wednesday. That would be two weeks past schedule. Yuck! But it has to be done!

Tell me how it's gonna be, George...

2011-07-13T11:44:00.008-04:00

Sort of a weird beginning to the week here, and I've been less than productive. I checked up on my submission to Writers of the Future, and found out I was not a winner. I wasn't that surprised, since it was my first time entering,but of course I felt a little disappointed that my story wasn't even an honorable mention. I had been hoping... Oh well. I honestly don't think that story was the best fit for that contest. I entered it at the last minute, on a whim. Hopefully my quarter 3 story does better. If first you don't succeed, try, try again.

Or, as George R.R. Martin told me yesterday when I chatted hurriedly with him, "Write lots and lots of 'em. You're submitting them to pubs and editors, right? Good, good."

Yes, I was one of those geeks standing in line for many hours in 96 degrees in the blazing sun waiting to meet him in Burlington, MA yesterday. Heat exhaustion, yes. I had the worst headache ever afterward. But it was worth it. Met a lot of nice folks, got ripped off for lemonade (They charged us twice as much for it outside as they did inside. Lazy fee, I guess?). It was all good :).

But back to the writing: I was having a rough time with my story... The words were coming. I was writing words, but the magic was just not there. I kept telling myself, well, the magic will come in draft 2, right now I am just getting the story down. But no. I've been doing this long enough where I KNOW when a story is working, when it is GOOD. It's like when you hit the ball in tennis right on the sweet spot of your racquet, you can tell it's a good one even before it leaves. Well, the story I had been working on was NOT like that. This morning, however, I have been stricken with inspiration (LOL does that work?), and I have an idea that hit the sweet spot. At the very least, *I* am excited about the idea, so that in itself will make it a better story. But it will have to come out in a hurry... This is a shorter story than the 10k one I was going to write, so perhaps I can still finish in a reasonable amount of time. I'm going to try to shoot for 5,000 words of new writing by Sunday. It's a stretch, but we'll see.

Kitchen is coming along. I love the new set up. It is smaller area-wise, but everything is so much easier to reach and more convenient. And when it is done, we will have so much more USABLE space, which is the important thing.

So, did I do it?

2011-07-10T09:13:00.002-04:00

Yes! Yes, I did. I wrote 5,407 words this week. And since 10,000 is really the target length of my story, if I do about the same this week, I'll be done with draft one of this thing. The first draft is probably going to be a little longer, because, especially in the first scene, I have a lot of extra words in there. That's what second drafts are for though. I'm hoping to get the second draft/revised version done by sometime after next weekend so I can get it out for critique.

I feel exhausted this morning, even though I went to sleep earlier than I have been last night. But my kitchen has walls (exterior, anyway) and a back door, which makes us all very happy. There is still a lot of work to do in there, but at least it's not just a bumblebee filled gaped hole to the backyard!

Here, let me tape my eyes open...

2011-07-06T08:57:00.003-04:00

Having a hole in your house is not good for your soul. I haven't slept well in two days, wondering if critters are going to be sneaking in around the tarp. But, if all goes well, things are looking good. I'm hoping to have a framed in kitchen by Friday. Hoping being the operative word. Knowing this house, something could go very wrong.

For ROW 80: So far this week, I am comfortably on target. I have 3,029 words written as of this morning. I have a suspicion that my story is going to be longer than my purposes for it require, but I can't be a good judge of that right now. When I write a first draft, it's sort of just spewed forth from my brain, wordiness and all. A normal writer might only need to edit out 10% of their words. For this story at least, I would not be surprised if a good third of these initial words are going to be cut, just because it takes me a while to get into the groove of things. It would make me very happy if I could make my goal of 5,000 words by Sunday. It would be REALLY awesome if I could reach 7,000 words. I really need to get this first draft done.

Haven't heard anything about the story I am expecting to hear about, which at this point, might be a good thing. I"m trying not to get my hopes up to high, which is to say, I am trying really hard not to imagine the telephone call happening. You know, like the whole thing. *Ring* "Hello?" "Hi, is this Melanie Meadors?" "Yes..." "This is ____ from ____. I'm just calling to let you know that you are a finalist." And then of course all the different possible reactions go through my mind. Doing such things is foolish. But then, I've never made the claim that I am not a fool...

ROW 80, Round 3, Goals and GO!

2011-07-04T10:01:00.002-04:00

It's that time again!

For this quarter, I'm going to be operating a little differently. Over the last two rounds of ROW 80, I have been re-discovering how I work. Not how someone else says I should work, but how I as an individual write best (I'll give you a hint: outlining every move in a story does not work for me!). Now that I have that work done, my goals will be slightly different for this round.

General goals: Write, revise, and submit one short story/novelette by the end of the round. Start thinking about the next story. Critique other people's work from my writing group.

Specific goal: In past rounds, I stayed away from this one, because I wasn't sure I could commit to writing a certain number of words per day. I was trying to allow things to be more organic and flexible so I could learn more about myself. Not in this round, however. This round, I am going to commit to writing 5,000 words per week, at least for the first three weeks. Once editing starts, obviously, I'll be in a different phase and won't be doing that, I'll be doing things probably based on time. But for now, 5,000 words per week. I'd like to be able to do 7,000. But i will start this way and see how things go. I don't want to set the goal too high, because not reaching goals is depressing, and that is not conducive to good writing at all.

So, what is my story this time? I had plans for a different story at the end of the last round. That story, however, does not feel ready to be written yet. I'm going to let it simmer a while longer, and work on something else in the interim. This is a fantasy story, and that's pretty much all I can tell you.

I received a rejection slip for a literary short story I had submitted in February. I sent it back off immediately to someone else. This story is kind of experimental, and I had expected it would be hard to find it a home. So I didn't feel too badly. Other than that one story, it's all about a certain shiny contest... I'm putting everything into that for now.

God luck to all my fellow ROWers!!!

Writer's constipation. Yeah.

2011-06-30T09:27:00.004-04:00

I've been kind of taking it easy on the blog front--sorry about that. I'm taking this bit of time between ROW 80 rounds to do a bit of very necessary decluttering around the house. I'm also trying to plan for next year's school year (we homeschool, for those just joining me).

I've been experiencing some resistance to my new story. I've planned it, and did a lot of character work for it, but I really am getting stuck about moving on with it. I think part of it has to do with perfectionism. I have this fear that what I write will not be spectacularly wonderful the very first time through. And also, this story is the first absolutely brand spanking new thing I have written, with new characters, new plot, setting, the whole shebang, in quite a while. My previous projects this year have involved mostly tying up loose ends left over from when things exploded a couple years ago. This is the new me writing the new me's stuff. So of course, all this competition arises in my mind, all these stories saying, "Oh, write ME, I'm so much better than that thing you are trying to write now... But no. If you listen to those voices, not only do you risk a trip to the looney bin, but you also risk never completing anything, because the grass always seems greener on the other side (Heh, yes, this post is as cliche-ridden as you think it is). Sometimes it really IS greener, but you have to be able to look at your particular situation and be able to judge. Sometimes, a story is just not working, and you have to know when to stop, or at least put it back into the incubator for a while. Most of the time, at least with me, it is just that the story isn't so new and shiny as it used to be. That's just life. Think about it this way. Quitting on your story because it just isn't as exciting or new to you would be like quitting on your dog because he's not that cute fluffy puppy anymore. Would you do that to your dog? Then don't do it to your story, either.

So, July 4th starts a new round of ROW 80. I'll be posting my goal post in a couple days (that's called procrastination, kids). And I also went on an adventure to Higgin's Armory, which I wanted to blog about (Yup, that p word again). Until then, I MUST WRITE.

Adventure: Boston Public Gardens

2011-06-18T10:12:00.014-04:00

On Monday last, I went to Boston, one of the foci being the Public Gardens. It's June, which means that all the duckling have hatched. I have a weakness for the wee, fuzzy, peepy things, so here they are:

Mom and her babies.

Swan boat.

Washington in his Bruins garb.

Nesting swans. It was fascinating, watching them work.

McCloskey's ducklings, in their Bruins garb. They are all personalized, too, funny!

Cool architecture. Boston has no lack of that!

My assistant, the Chief, in the planning stages of a mecha-rabbit you can ride upon...

Or for those who prefer a more slow and steady pace...

Lovely trip. We took the commuter train from Worcester to Boston, and then back again. Lunch was at the Salty Dog at Quincy Market, where they have wicked awesome clam chowdah and fish and chips. And dinner... dinner was at the Prudential Center's Cheesecake Factory. DEVINE!!

Until next time...

You never stop learning...

2011-06-16T09:31:00.007-04:00

And that is a good thing. How boring would life be if we never experienced anything new, never tried anything outside of our sphere of knowledge?

I wanted to be done "outlining" my story at the end of last week. But, as I am still in the sort of "rediscovery" phase of writing (remember, I had a couple of really bad years here, where I really didn't write much. Coming back into it I find that I need to learn all over again how I best work), I was doing things in a kind of organic way, keeping an open mind. What I've found is that I work best by planning a bit, brainstorming, getting down the structure, and then writing bits from the scenes in that section. The important, emotional bits that are the reason for having the story THAT WAY. Then I will go and do another section, plan it, and do the same. This seems to work extremely well for me. So while I am still not completely done planning, I am still getting some writing done at the same time.

Another thing: I have rediscovered the joy of "happy accidents." I had my main character have a certain hobby/obsession. The other night during my research, I discovered that her obsession is actually pretty significant to another topic that is part of the plot. That makes me very happy, because it provides just one more subtle level of cohesion in the story. And I really think that if I had been pantsing along as much as I have been doing, I would have missed it.

So, ROWers, I think that just now, I will announce that my round of ROW 80 has been a success. I completed and submitted my short story (and I feel good about it!), and I started on the next one. But most importantly, I really have rediscovered what makes me tick, and instead of going by my gut, I can actually explain what my process is. Sort of. I feel like i have adequately gotten myself into my profession again, where I really feel like a writer again, for the first time in like two years.

This is Golden Celebration, again. She is sad because it was raining.

This is Angel Face. She has a WONDERFUL fragrance. I need to transplant her, though, because she is not particularly happy where she is.

Talking to the voices in my head...

2011-06-09T16:00:00.009-04:00

I'm at a point with my current work in progress where I need to make decisions about my characters. I have character A and character B. I know they are going to get together to work on a problem. They know each other from the past. So I need to figure out HOW they know each other. It's not (usually) as easy as saying, "Oh, he's her brother's best friend..." or something like that. As with anything writing related, you need to put some thought into the decision so that it has the greatest possible impact on the reader, and so that it creates the greatest amount of conflict in your story. Because as we all know, ANYTHING that believably raises the stakes in your story is a very good thing, the higher the stakes the better.

Usually, the first idea that pops into your head is a good STARTING point. The initial idea is something that you work with in order to find your truly unique take on things. Usually the first thing that pops to mind is the first thing that popped into someone else's mind too; it's the easy idea. And as writers, we know, it's never about the easy. I can't remember who had originally given the advice about taking your first idea, throwing it away, and then taking your second idea, throw it away too. By the third idea, maybe you're getting somewhere. It doesn't just work with story ideas, it works with characters as well. When I read a story, I don't want predictable characters I've seen a million times. I want them to surprise me. And I know that the people who will read my stories will want the same thing.

Another thing to remember is that just as the setting and conflict in your story shape your characters, so too do the characters shape the conflict and setting of your story. Characters will handle crises in different ways. Characters will handle anything that happens to them in their own particular way, and that is what will make your story unique. When you have a character pop into your mind, there might be certain things about her that would preclude her from existing in a certain time period or a certain country. A person like that would not believably live there, and so you would have to find a setting that WOULD work with that character. Certain events that would be a crisis for one person would not be a big deal for another. The combination of your characters, your setting, and the conflict is what will make your story unique; unlike any other. Yes, there is no such thing as a new idea, but there are new ways of using old ideas. New combinations, new approaches. You want to make sure you do all the work necessary to know your characters, because the more you know them, the more options you will have. You'll know how to approach the story so that it works the best way with your character, and your character will... well, stay in character.

ROW 80--I haven't quite finished the outline yet, so I will be doing that today. Hopefully tomorrow I will be done with that and be able to move on to the actual writing phase of this project.

Today's rose: Jacob's Robe.

It's about to get steamy...

2011-06-08T10:44:00.003-04:00

There is a webinar from Writer's Digest tomorrow on the writing of science fiction, fantasy, and paranormal. It is 90 minutes long. I signed up, not so much for the information ("read read read, write write write" really is the best writing advice ever) as for the motivational aspect. I always leave these things feeling refreshed and newly motivated, which in itself makes the webinar worth it. I'll let you know how it goes.

I'm making progress with the planning stages of my new short story. I'm really hoping to have a rough outline done by Sunday. I should be able to accomplish that, but with my son's birthday party this weekend, along with the allergy sludge, who knows. I also have a few critiques to do ASAP as well.

We're supposed to reach 100 degrees tomorrow! Phew! Remember how I was complaining a couple weeks ago about it being too cold? Sigh... SPRING would have been nice. 75 degrees, 80 for a few weeks. Not straight to 90 and 100!

And now, I give you Moondance...

Pictures!

2011-06-07T16:20:00.006-04:00

Yes! I have pictures, finally. Here is the lovely and talented Kady Cross and myself at the book release for her book The Girl in the Steel Corset. She's the one in the dress.

And here is the talented and entertaining Dr. Grymm, along with his secretarial-bot Peggy. He's the one with the beard. Peggy's got the brain. And me.

And here is Golden Celebration. Because it is lovely :)

This is Chihuly:

I have many more, we are reaching peak week here :). Stay tuned for more loveliness!

A Decision Has Been Made

2011-06-05T19:00:00.002-04:00

Well, ROWers, we are heading for the home stretch. Only a couple weeks left to round two.

My manuscript has been sent on its way. It is now out of my hands. Of course, hours after mailing it I came across this little bitty post-it note with little bitty writing on it that had this INGENIOUS idea for a paragraph in the story. It was golden. Oh well, I just stuck it in my notebook and I'll keep it there until the story comes back. If the story finds a home this time, thenI guess it was good enough without the paragraph. If it does not find a home, then I'll just write it in then.

So that is the end of my big goal for ROW 80, round two. Last week I was trying to decide whether or not I wanted to work on my novel or if I should write another short. I have decided to do another short story. Since I am hoping to increase my writing hours, there should be enough time for me to write the short and then between drafts work on my novel. I'll do everything in shifts. During the times when my short is "resting," I will work on my novel and vice versa.

Goal for the week: Write an outline (a very BASIC outline) of my short story and do the research necessary (or at least start to) to actually start writing it. The unfortunate thing is that the public library system in MA is lacking in the books I need to do my research. So I might have to buy a couple (oh, nuts...).

My rose bushes are blooming. If I can ever figure out how to do it (like how to get the pictures from the camera on to my computer...), I might post some of them here. I will also post pictures from yesterday's book release party for The Girl in the Steel Corset by Kady Cross. Lots of fun. It's always great to see her and I got to meet Doctor Grymm (and his secretary :)). The cupcakes were scrumptious!

Procrastination...want to play?

2011-05-31T16:26:00.004-04:00

This has really been the week of procrastination. Well, some things I really needed to get done. Like cleaning the house, teaching the kid. But there have definitely been those times where I say, "You know, there really are better things to do than check Facebook for the 13th time this hour...."

Better things. Like finishing this darn short story! Ugh, there are just a few things that need fixing, but it's like pulling teeth. I just can't stand to look at the thing any more! I could get to work on my novel, I could do a blog post, since I missed Sunday's check in. I could work on ideas for my next short story.... But no. There's always SOMETHING going on on the internet (even when there isn't).

Self-discipline is NOT my middle name.

So for ROW 80, a goal: By Sunday, FINISH this story for good, have it sent out, AND have a plan for what to do with the rest of the month.

UPDATE: I have finished revising the story! SO I will have my husband do a final go through, and if he gives it a thumbs up, it's away. So now, I must formulate a plan... "the PLANS, Master..."

Dusting off, getting back up!

2011-05-26T10:51:00.002-04:00

OK, where was I now? I HATE being sick. It throws a wrench into everything, not just writing, but school for my son, and the housework... I am so far behind with everything it's just insane!

ROW 80--OK, I have to get back on track with this. It's not to late for me to still accomplish my original goals here! I just have to get cracking. I think this time, I may have built in a little TOO much cushion time. I mean, seriously... I should not have been able to be so lazy this time around as I have been. So basically, I have to spend the rest of the week editing and reworking my short story one last time. I hope. I haven't decided whether or not I want to send it for another round of critiques. Really, I am sick of seeing it at this point, so maybe I'll just have the husband look at it. He's good about telling me if there is a problem.

After this weekend, I am going to have to decide if I want to write another short for a certain quarterly science fiction contest, or if I want to really get rolling on my novel. Or both... It should be possible to work on both. And I need to set up a schedule and a plan.

Yesterday I came up with at least three story ideas while I was doing housework, but I didn't write any of them down... I don't know when I'm going to learn!

Blech...

2011-05-23T17:01:00.002-04:00

I have some sort of allergy-cold thing. Yuck. And I think my son has caught it--double yuck. At least I will be mostly over it by the time it gets going with him. I remember when he was a baby (well, about 2) and we both had the flu at the same time. I was lying on the couch, and he lay on top of me, and we resembled corpses for a couple days. Yuck.

I went to see the movie Priest today. It had gotten some bad reviews, but I thought it was entertaining. There were cheesy moments, and times when I said, "Man, that was a clunker..." referring to the writing or directing. But I think Paul Bettany saved the film. His acting was good enough to overcome the bad spots. Plus... I mean, how bad could a movie be with Paul Bettany in it anyway? Some of the "surprises" were predicable, etc. But as I said, the movie itself was entertaining and up my alley.

Writing... I just have not felt well enough to do much creative work, but I have been reading a lot, both novels and books on writing. That sort of counts, doesn't it? Hopefully once my head clears out, things will get back to normal.

Living, learning

2011-05-17T10:06:00.002-04:00

The Connecticut Fiction Festival was a blast! The Connecticut chapter of RWA is definitely one of my favorites, and the conference went practically perfectly for me :). I learned a lot, and laughed a lot, which is important. I had a few epiphanies about my writing life, which is great. I feel like after my two years of just... I don't know what to call it. Personal trauma? One thing after another?... things are finally starting to give way, and I am re-discovering my writerly self. Working on these short stories has been tremendously helpful over the past several months. Now, I think, is finally the time to start working on a novel again. I was brave enough to file all of my old stuff into a couple file boxes and send it up to the attic. Continuously trying to work on the same bad ideas is not going to get me anywhere. I have to let go of the security of the old and get into something new that I am excited about. Working on the shorter length stuff really helped me get into a new mindset, and I feel like I am ready to go! Part of the epiphany I had over the weekend, which seems really obvious now, is that I have to start writing what I love again, and not worry about other people so much. "Other people" had me for the past few years, and I am so ready to be out of that mindset! I have my wonderful family and friends still here with me, supporting me and encouraging me. Every day it seems like i am meeting new people who make my world more complete (even when I feel like it IS complete!). I'm back to where I feel I belong. My incredibly weird, wonderful world. :) The world of Mel. It's so strange how one day you wake up, and the shroud of grief is gone. You are a different person because of it, but you realize you are no longer grieving. I can look back objectively now. It still feels sad, but I don't feel defined by loss anymore :).

LOL most of you have no idea specifically what I am talking about, but that's OK. We all lose stuff in like, people, status, homes, something. Sometimes it all happens at once and makes your head spin and you don't even know who you are anymore! But it doesn't last forever, it really doesn't. Bide your time, and don't make it worse by piling a guilt trip onto yourself. Crap happens, it happens to us all, and we just have to live through it. There is an end! Usually it is even in this lifetime! Happier days will come, and it all starts by appreciating what you DO have.

Anyway, enough with the motivational speaking. Let's get to work!! I hope everyone has a good week!

PS-There may be some changes around here on the blog... I'm thinking of getting more organized, having more thematic posts that actually MEAN something, some more informative stuff (you know, like actual CONTENT!). I may dump some of the stuff in the archives, because honestly, who wants to read that crap? And I might go about redesigning some things. I change my blog theme for every story I work on; I need to find something more universally ME. Though I kind of like my eggs...

Woops, Wednesday again!

2011-05-11T17:53:00.000-04:00

I did my revisions on the short story and sent it out for another round of critiques. Got a couple of those backs, and it looks like I just have to do some things like work with themes a bit, to make them present throughout the story, things like that. I really put every word through the wringer of the first page of my novel, and submitted it to the "cold read" lunch at the Connecticut Fiction Fest, where a panel of agents and editors will be reading and critiquing first pages. This is valuable because it shows you what give the agents/editors pause, what they like and don't like, etc.

Right now I am trying to decide whether or not I want to work on a new science fiction short story, or if I want to work on my novel in the next few months. I will end up writing both, but the order is what is catching me now. I was wanting to enter Writers of the Future every quarter, but I miss working on my novel, which has really fallen to the wayside. I would love to be able to pitch my novel at the NECRWA conference next year. I should know by Sunday what I am doing.

Only a few more days till CFF! Really looking forward to seeing people there!

A quick check in

2011-05-08T20:31:00.003-04:00

I'm trying not to procrastinate--I've been having a HUGE problem with that this week. So I will only be doing a quick check in this Sunday.

I am working on a "first page" for the cold read lunch at the Connecticut Fiction Fest. I am also working on revisions of my short story, but I keep putting that off for some reason. I really, really have to get going with it though, because I want to have it submitted by then end of the month. I'm still fighting exhaustion from my trips, and over the next month there are birthdays and another conference and a holiday and a homeschool fair for my son... I'm just not going to get a break!

Sooo....

2011-05-04T09:40:00.002-04:00

Things are more or less on track with ROW 80. I am REALLY glad I built in a little "freak out time" when I was figuring out my goals. That worked out perfectly!

So by the 7th I was hoping to have the next to the last round of tweakings done on my short story. I think I can still handle that. Even if I am a few days late though, I don't think it would matter much.

A new goal I have by the 10th is to polish up the first page of one of my novels to submit to a "cold read" session by some agents and editors at the Connecticut Fiction Festival. Yikes! Thank goodness it is anonymous...

I have been learning more, through this process of ROW 80, about my work process. I gave myself a goal for short stories, because they are a path I can take to break into the business a bit, to get my name and work recognized a little. But I do really miss working on novels. So I am thinking about getting a couple of contemporary romances out of my system that have been hanging out in there for a while. No sense in wasting perfectly good ideas! I also want to start focusing more on enjoying my work, rather than constantly worrying about what the *right* thing to do is. After looking at the careers of several people whom I admire, really, there doesn't seem to be one particular RIGHT way. There is just *their* way.

If my headache goes away, hopefully it will be a productive day!

Found out my conference buddy is indeed going to the Connecticut Fiction Fest, dashing my fears that I would have to do it alone. Hurray!

NECRWA Conference

2011-05-02T09:54:00.002-04:00

This past weekend was the New England Chapter of Romance Writers of America's writing conference. This was my third time going (last year I took a year off), and I think it was one of the best! You could tell the ladies of NECRWA worked really hard to make the conference work and go smoothly, and it did. I had so much fun, and I really felt like I learned a lot. This time, the learning wasn't exactly about my writing, per se. It was more about myself, and my idea of myself as a writer. I run into a lot of resistance because I have a view of who I should be that does not always coincide with who I am. For some reason, I don't feel like it's OK to write what I truly enjoy, the stories that are in my heart. I feel like I have to write something "important." And of course, that makes my writing stilted and artificial.

I enjoy writing all kinds of stories. Science fiction, historical, contemporary. And romance. Yes, I DO write romance. But I resist it. I tell myself that real writers don't write romance. I listen to the people when they tell me that romance is the brothel of the commercial fiction ghetto. I let myself become convinced that I'm somehow bigger than that. Bigger. I don't know what that means. I don't even know what the goal of being bigger is, but I catch myself trying to convince me that I am just not that kind of girl...

Then this weekend I noticed something.

The world is full of disaster. Earthquakes, tornadoes, terrorism, gas price gouging, starvation, inflation, lay offs, child abuse...the list is endless. Yet in the midst of all of this, this past weekend, two people who were in love with each other DARED to get married. How could they? I heard this a lot. "Oh, that royal wedding, who care? Like there isn't anything more important to do or watch?" Insults were everywhere, and yes, I agree, Princess Beatrice's hat... *shudder*. And I was right in line. "Look at all this news about a stupid wedding. People are dying, starving, being killed by natural disasters!" I was SO not going to watch it.

But then, at about 11PM, in my room at the Salem Inn, I did watch it. There was nothing else on, and I wanted to make fun of the hats. And I did! For about five minutes. Then I became entranced. And I realized, how is focusing so much on the negative going to change the world for the better? These two kids were glowing! Nervous, looking a little petrified at times, but they were happy! And how dare we put that down? Yes, sure, it was extravagant and royal, and over the top. But for a little while, we could shift our eyes away from the bad news, and see something POSITIVE happening. We could see some hope made public. Since when has hope and joy become out of style?

I'm a cynical bitch, and always have been. I'm not that into cute. But really, do we have to hate happiness so strongly? Why do I feel like I have to despise things that are sentimental? What has happened to me over the past few years? Well, a lot. I've lost many family members over the past five years, and I've been through a failed adoption. I have seen family and friends going through hells of all kinds. And I think I am just afraid of letting go of my prickly side at all because I need those prickles! Without them, I could be damaged yet again.

Well, this weekend, I have decided that I will dare to be happy. I will dare to let go of my cynicism, I will dare to write a happy ending. Because, dammit, people NEED more happy endings in this world. We need hope. People will say it is not realistic--who are they to say? If more people decide to be happy, instead of grouchy and cynical and nasty, then a happy ending IS possible. But people are too damn afraid of being hurt. They may claim that it's not true, but they are not being realistic. I invite you to think really hard about WHY you might be cynical, why you might put something down. Chances are that it's because that person has something you don't have. You are afraid you will never have happiness, and so you actively shun it in order to protect yourself. I've decided that I don't want to do that anymore.

I'm giving myself sort of a ninety day challenge. I'm going to write a happy damn story. With a happy ending. That might, hopefully, make someone else happy. Because if we can't even HOPE that something good will happen to us, what kind of world is this?

I'm back, slightly...

2011-05-01T19:26:00.004-04:00

I'm back, but extremely exhausted!! The conference was GREAT, so much fun. Seeing the family in VA was nice, but it's too bad it was such a sad circumstance. We are hoping to go back down soon when we can concentrate on visiting and won't be so rushed and tired.

Things are actually still pretty much on target, writing wise. I'm going to start revisions on my short story, and take notes for a novel. The Connecticut Fiction Festival is two weeks away, and I'll be there!

On the road again...

2011-04-24T18:01:00.002-04:00

My husband's grandmother passed away yesterday, so I will be on the road for a while. I will check in when we get back. I'm still on my ROW 80 target though! It's going to be an absolutely insane week, I will only be sleeping in my own bed ONCE all week. Unplanned trips, gotta love them!!

Wednesday check in, more rain

2011-04-20T10:10:00.003-04:00

Yeah, I know. April showers and all that. I'm so over April showers, though!

For the past couple of days I've been brainstorming my next short story and doing a lot of world building and all that. Next step is working on my main character. I'm not in too much of a rush with that though, which is good. These things usually work out better if they can come to me gradually rather than me just trying to force them out.

I'm also looking hard at one of my novels, and thinking about reworking it into a science fiction novel. I think it would work far better that way. The way it exists now, I keep getting blocked by historical accuracy issues, and while i know that a historical novel does not have to be strictly accurate, I know way too much about the subject to just wing it! But if I make it science fiction, I can explore the theme even more deeply, themes of humanity and slavery.

Next week I hope to start the next draft of my current short story (and I'm HOPING there won't be too many changes... that would be great :) But it would be also great if I could make the story as good as possible, so I'm hoping my readers aren't holding anything back!

Things are still on target for ROW 80. In fact, they seem a little "too" on target. But I know that if I had planned to do MORE, my story would have come back needing tons of work and I would have been going crazy. Better safe than sorry. And now I have more time to work on my novel and my next story. :)

I'm still waiting...

2011-04-17T09:45:00.003-04:00

for Spring! Yesterday we went to get plants from the nursery and almost froze to death. But I refuse to give in!

A couple days ago I declared the good draft of my story to be DONE, and sent it off to some nice people for critiques. Now I'm going to read and critique their stories while my next story is simmering in the pot of my imagination. I also need to decide what I am going to bring to the Donald Maass workshop I am attending at the end of the month. Obviously I have some short stories in progress, but his stuff mainly pertains to novels. We are supposed to bring a work in progress. I do have a novel, but it needs a lot of organization before I can bring it in a usable form. So I'd better get to work....

This means I am officially on step 2 of my ROW 80 goals. AND I am on schedule. Hurray!

And of course, my printer chooses NOW to run out of toner...

ANNOUNCEMENT: It was just announced that I am a "strong contender" for a contest I entered a couple months ago. Can't say which contest, because of the judging and so forth, but I am psyched!

Yet another cloudy Wednesday...

2011-04-13T10:15:00.003-04:00

Heh, so I went back and read my post from yesterday on melodrama... Definitely not the best of writing. There are even typos in it. If the point of it did not come across at all, let me know and I will redo it. That will teach me for posting in a rush!

I "finished" rewriting the end of my short story yesterday (and I put that in quotes, because when are we EVER really finished?), and today I need to go to the beginning and make sure my hook is there bright and early. I also have to make sure I spend just the right amount of time on the "milieu" of the story. Since it is science fiction, I need to make sure readers get a good feel for where and when they are, and what sort of a place it is, etc. But I also need to make sure that the story is not bogged down in details. Every detail and description has to do a job, and has to move the story forward, otherwise, it has no place there. I heard someone say that in a story, especially a short story, every word has to do its job. Well, I'll go one step further, and say that every word needs to do TWO jobs. The first is the job it originally was intended for, the obvious job. The second is something that is not so obvious. Choose your words very carefully. When using a verb, don't just use the one that gets the job done; use the one that really puts the reader in the world of your story. BUT, don't overdo it, either. Your writing shouldn't call attention to itself. It takes a lot of practice to get that right, but it is worth it.

Having a nasty day here. It's raining again, and is not exactly warm. For some reason, and i've heard this from several other people as well, this winter seems to be a never ending torture session. It hasn't even been that bad of a winter weather-wise, but for anyone who has SAD, it was a killer, and continues to be so. Spring feels like it is NEVER going to come.

So the next phase of ROW 80 starts tomorrow, when I send my short story out to some folks to critique. As hard as I've worked, and continue to work, on this story, I know that there is more work to come! But the good news is that after tomorrow, I can take a break for a little while from this particular story, and get planning on my next. I'm going to attempt to plot the next one more than this one, and hope that there will be fewer problems with it.

Cut the melodrama....

2011-04-12T12:09:00.004-04:00

I can tell the weather is going to be bad tomorrow. My ears and head feel like they are going to implode, which generally means a low pressure system is coming. :( Yesterday was perfect!

Today I am going back to work on my story; specifically, I am going to work on character motivations. I had a section that was too melodramatic; in fact, it was one of the most important scenes in the story. What I find generally causes melodrama is that the characters do not have real, solid, live or die motivations for their actions. They do shocking things for trivial reasons, or for no reason. Now, if someone does something shocking, but has a really strong reason for doing so, such an action can be heroic, or exciting, or nail-biting. It is real drama, rather than melodrama.

Example:

A little boy in in the store. He wants a candy bar.

"Can we get a candy bar mom? One of those ones with the crispies inside?"
"No," his mother says. "We're running late today, and I don't have time to go to aisle 4 to get one."
"But mom," the boy says, his breath coming quicker. "You said we could get one. We need to get one!"
"Not today."
The boy tears up. His little hands clench into fists. Slowly, his face turns from pink, to red, to purple. "WE NEED TO GET A CANDY BAR! TODAY! YOU PROMISED WE COULD!!" He stomps his foot on the floor. He drops and starts to roll around, crying.

How many of us have seen that before? How many of us thought, "Spoiled brat." All we see are this kid's actions. He has no reasons for wanting the candy bar; not that we can see, anyway. All we see is an explosion. So why should we care? We have our own problems to deal with (like that oncoming headache from listening to the kid's screams!).

But... What if:

"Can we get a candy bar, mom? One of those ones with the crispies inside?" That kind was Dad's favorite. John knew Dad would like it. Maybe he wouldn't cry this time is John gave him a candy bar.

"No," his mother says. "We're running late today, and I don't have time to go to aisle 4 to get one."

"But mom," the boy says, his breath coming quicker. He needs to do this, this one thing to help his dad before he leaves for Afghanistan. "You said we could get one. We need to get one!"

"Not today."

She doesn't understand. John can't bear to see his Dad leave crying again. He just needs that one thing to make Dad feel better! The boy tears up. His little hands clench into fists. Slowly his face turns from pink, to red, to purple. He can't seem to breathe right. All he can see is his father's face, tears streaming down it, while he's telling him to be a good boy. "WE NEED TO GET A CANDY BAR! TODAY! YOU PROMISED WE COULD!!" He stomps on the floor...

It's not the best example in the world. But at the very least, you can see how the latter example is more intense, is more interesting, and we actually care more about the characters.

It can be hard at times, because *I* know what my characters motivations are. They could be the most pure, noble motivations out there. But unless that comes through in the story, all the readers are going to see is a whining, kicking brat who wants what he wants just because he wants it. This can be especially useful in creating your antagonists, or a protagonist that is a bit different from your everyday hero.

"I want to rule the world." We've all heard that one before. Think about Sauron in Lord of the Rings. WHY did he want to rule the world?

"i want to rule the world, because it's the only way in which I can be SURE there will never be slavery." Well, it's still world domination, but it has a reason. Something that readers can perhaps sympathize with a little, even though we don't WANT to be ruled over by a dictator.

The next time one of your stories could use a boost, try looking at each major scene and make sure that your characters' motivations are clear. Doing so will make your cardboard characters come to life, and bring true drama into your story, rather than shallow melodrama.

Shhh, don't move or you'll scare it...

2011-04-10T09:00:00.002-04:00

I think spring might be finally HERE! I want to go to my favorite nursery today and grab some plants. I'm not expecting anymore snowstorms... Mind you, that does not mean that we WON'T have any more, but I like to think positively.

As far as ROW 80 goes, I'm doing well. I completed a first draft, a couple people have read it and commented. It's not as bad as it seemed to be while I was writing it (good thing!), but it still needs a little work before I send it out for another round of critiques. It the usual trying to figure out exactly where to begin and end the story. Actually, I thought of the perfect ending a couple nights ago.... while I was lying in bed doing nothing. But, idiot I am, I did not write it down. SO...I fell asleep and it is gone. I'm letting the story sit until at least tomorrow, and then I will go through and make some changes, and on the 14th, right on schedule, I will send it out for a few more critiques.

I've been trying to come up with ideas for my next story. I have lots of single ideas, but still as of yet have to come up with the secondary ideas that really make a story out of them. I have ideas coming out of my ears, but no stories yet. But it will come.

I'm going out in the garden today, though. :) I will try to share pictures as things start to come up. We have tons of green shoots poking their ways up! And three little garter snakes living in our stone wall.

It's that bad part....

2011-04-06T09:46:00.002-04:00

It's odd to be starting a round of ROW 80 by ending something, but, there it is. I'm just now doing the ending of the first draft of a science fiction short story, and until about 11 PM last night, I was pulling my hair out. For some reason, the story was not going ANYWHERE. Oh, the words were coming, but the story itself, while the voice was there, and the setting (and usually that's where I have trouble!), and the situation, nothing was really HAPPENING. And therefore, writing it was beginning to feel like pulling teeth. But I refused to give up. And finally I had a breakthrough. Not a big one, mind you, but one nonetheless.

So hopefully, now I can finish this draft today and let it sit for a couple days while I refresh. On Sunday I hope to resume work on it, not much, hopefully, just some fiddling around, until I feel like that particular draft is pretty well set. Then I will send it to a few people to read while i work on something else for about a week or so.

Spring is slowly springing around here, which means torrential downpours. Today is nice, but last I saw, we are supposed to just get pouring rain the rest of the week. Hopefully that was wrong.... I'm actually kind of glad spring isn't here all the way yet because then the jerk who is currently parked ON my almond tree IN my garden would be parked on it in full bloom, and that really would not make me happy. And you know what the Incredible Hulk said about making him angry. It works the same for writers...

ROW 80, Round 2--GO!

2011-04-04T12:22:00.004-04:00

Today is the official start date of ROW 80, round 2. I stated my goals in the previous post, and now...

Well, now it's time to DO IT.

I plan on finishing the rough draft of a short story today. Which means I'd better get my butt in gear. Then tomorrow I will look at it, rearrange some things, and put it away for a couple days while some people look at it. On Wednesday, I will let you know if I actually accomplish that!

A funny thing happened today--there was a Ganymede slime mold in my kitchen compost bucket. I believe it is self-aware, and may be capable of locomotion, but I have not yet verified this, as I took it outside before anything funky could happen. It is out there on the compost heap, in the cold rain, looking at me. At least, it was the last time I checked. It may have moved on. (For those who would like to learn more about Ganymede slime molds, I highly recommend reading Philip K. Dick's Clans of the Alphane Moon)

Official Goal Post, ROW 80 Round 2

2011-04-02T16:57:00.006-04:00

Well, it's time to think about my goals for round two of A Round of Words in 80 Days. Head over there is you don't know what it is. It's just a fun way of getting work done and helping others, giving and receiving support, etc. It starts on April 4th, ends on June 23rd.

Basically, the "rules" state that you go on your blog, state your goals, and then check in twice a week and let folks know how you're doing. Usually people make goals like, "I will right __ words per day," or "I will write for __ hours per day." I don't really work like that. I work best by having milestones in my particular projects that I work for, and I set dates to reach them. Having a daily word count works sometimes for me, but not always. I like to write until I get tired, then work on another aspect of the project to refresh myself, and then I get back to the writing. So some days I can get a ton of writing done while on others, I do more research or editing, etc. Anyway, that's how I work, and I suspect any other writer reading this will have a different way of working. We're all different, it's what makes life interesting.

So, my goals for this round:

1) Have a first draft of my science fiction short story done by April 14th. This means a good first draft, one that I won't be too ashamed of having people read and critique. Right now, I'm about half there. On or before April 14th, I will be letting some "trusted readers" have a go at it. They'll let me know how much it sucks, why it sucks, and maybe even some tidbits on how it might not suck so much (believe me, they will...).

2) Start planning next story while first one is out for critique. From about April 14-20th or so, I will start planning the next story. I try to get a basic idea of what the story will be about, and the major characters. A lot of it comes to me during the actual writing, so I'll still have work to do as far as that goes, but I just need to get the basic gist down so I can start work. I will probably do a little research at this time too, to make sure I know what the hell I'm talking about.

3) Work on 2nd draft of first story. Once I get critiques back, I will work on the second draft (I call it that, it is actually closer to the third draft), fix things up, tighten, do all those fun editing things. Then, on May 7th or so, I will send that draft to another set of "trusted readers" who will tear it apart (but hopefully less than the first set, since the goal was to make the story BETTER than the first draft).

4) Really look at the idea for the second story and make sure it is feasible. Start writing, if it works. Self explanatory. I'll be doing this until most of the critiques of first story, draft 2 are in. Probably until Friday, May 13th.

5) Fix the hopefully small things in draft two of story one, and then let the story sit while I work on something else. Hopefully, this means writing on my second short story. I also want to use this time to catch up on some of my reading, which I am finding less and less time for these days.

6) Take a good hard look at the first story, make sure it is what I want it to be. Then, send it out. I want the story out of my house around May 31.

7) Work on second story until the end of round 2. And then rinse, lather, repeat.

There will be things that happen during these 80 days that I don't have listed here, such as:

Receive rejection letter from editor. Violently curse his lack of taste. Send the manuscript to next editor.

and

Go to conference. Try not to puke on or otherwise make ass of self in front of Donald Maass.

But if I gave you all of those details, it would get boring...

Changes

2011-04-01T22:02:00.004-04:00

I have changed the name of this blog to my real name, Melanie R. Meadors. I had chosen Madison Leigh as my pen name when I was not sure where I was going, career-wise. Now, I have a clearer view, so I have decided to take the steps needed to make sure... well, I'm ME.

Hopefully everyone will be able to find me here!

The Balancing Act

2011-03-30T10:50:00.000-04:00

Spring cleaning has begun.... I cleaned the dining room yesterday, everything in it, from top to bottom. This is a bit more complicated than the average bear's dining room. My dining room is very multi-purpose. It serves as, not only a dining room, but our music room (well, one of them...), our school room, and bunny bedroom for two of our rabbits. It is also where people generally gather when they come over. And it's the first place you see when you enter the house. But I think I managed to get everything in order, a place for everything and everything in its place. It doesn't look too bad, considering; how many people keep a full upright piano in their dining rooms? Not to mention the rabbits, when they aren't running around.

Slowly, my short story is coming together. I have now officially changed its status. It is no longer a novelette. The problem with this one was originally, the idea was for a novel. But I realized how much more powerful it would be focused into a shorter form. And now, I realize, it would be better compacted even more, so the emotional impact will be greatest.

And of course, this is the time of year to be thinking about what we will be focusing on with my son next school year. We homeschool, for several reasons, and in our state, we have to submit an "education plan" of what we are going to cover for the year. So it's time for me to consider my options for that. It gets easier in some ways every year, because I get more and more familiar with how my son learns best.

In less than a week, ROW 80 round two starts! So I have to get all the spring cleaning done before then!

A Very Sad Day

2011-03-24T17:34:00.000-04:00

My neighborhood Borders is closing. Since they opened we have gone about once a week. Since we moved to town about six years ago, we sometimes go many, many times a week. Very rarely have we ever walked out without a book (or five). What the hell am I going to do with all my time and money???

I'm extremely sad about this. My son was basically RAISED in Borders. It's our home away from home. They KNOW us there. The customer service at the Shrewsbury, MA Borders is unparalleled. They are warm and inviting, friendly. I've never met a bunch who truly loves their jobs as much as these folks do--it shines out in their work every day. And yes, sometimes we DO go every day.

Sigh, times, they are a-changin'. And I don't like it.

ROW 80, end of round 1

2011-03-24T10:21:00.000-04:00

This was certainly a learning experience. I wasn't all smooth sailing, but hey, what valuable experience ever is?

The big question: Did I accomplish my goals? Well, if you look at my goals at the beginning of the challenge, then no, I didn't. But I think I accomplished something far more valuable. I am writing again. I have regained something that I lost a couple years ago. I feel like I have found myself again. That is nothing to scoff at. And it will only make me more effective in round two!!

I FEEL like I have certainly accomplished what I set out to do, only in a different way than my original goal intended. I wanted to feel like a writer again, after two years of feeling lost. And I have accomplished that. I've done more in the past few weeks than I have in months and months. And I'm happy.

So yeah, I've accomplished my goal.

The End is Nigh!!

2011-03-20T13:20:00.000-04:00

Wow, I can't believe there are only a few days left of ROW 80.

Today I am going to finish my outline (I hope...) for my science fiction novelette. Then on Monday, the writing begins in earnest.

I'm going to keep my daily writing goals very reasonable, at about 700 words a day. Anything more than that can be a struggle. At times I can spit out over 1000 words a day, but I think realistically, nothing else would get done on those days, and that's not a good thing! I'm going to start at 700 and se about increasing that as time goes by and my organizational skills improve (heh...I've been trying for like... my whole LIFE to get my house organized. Sometimes, I think I should just give up. Nothing works...)

Spring time is upon us, thank goodness! It has been a looooong winter.

Heinlein's Rules

2011-03-18T11:06:00.000-04:00

From the infamous science fiction writer, Robert A. Heinlein ("On the Writing of Speculative Fiction", 1947) (commentary by Madison Leigh):

Writing Rules

1) You must write. Well, duh. But it is surprising what percentage of aspiring writers forget this rule... You must put your butt in the chair and put words on the page. Lots of them.

2) Finish what you start. Yes, writing is good, but you won't get very far if you do not finish your work. Having 50 novels started, or even ALMOST completed, is worthless. Having one completed novel will get you where you want to be. If you have a hard time finishing what you start, ask yourself why? And then MAKE YOURSELF FINISH. Even if what you have seems like utter crap. There is something to be said for finished crap. Some of the best stories out there used to be finished crap. But if you don't finish the crap...well, then it is nothing and never will be.

3) You must refrain from re-writing, except to editorial order. This one here confused people. No, Heinlein did not mean just type something out and voila, complete, send it out. EDITING, going through, making sure it makes sense, making sure everything works, sure. But if you find yourself doing more than five drafts, STOP. Especially if you keep going back and forth between things, and the story starts to morph back into what it was in the beginning. Don't endlessly fiddle around with things in the story. If a market is interested in your story, and it is a good story, they will tell you what to fix. Once I had a story published and the editor asked me to change the whole ending of the story, because she knew it was a good tale, it just wasn't an exact fit for her magazine yet. Editorial order--so I fixed it, and she printed it.

4) You must put your story on the market. Your story won't be published if you don't send it out! Don't procrastinate. Mail that sucker out!

5) You must keep it on the market until it has sold. And keep on mailing it out! And out! And out! Rejection is a part of every writer's life. It means nothing, other than that the story was not right for that particular market. Try, try again... The story has nothing better to do than travel around! And when you do get it back, unless you get some very specific comments on it, don't touch it! Immediately send it out to the next market on your list, that very day. Make that story work for you.

6) Start working on something else. Lots of folks forget this one... As soon as you send something out, it's done! It's gone! Start working on something else. Refer to rule number 1. :)

Busy, busy, busy...

2011-03-16T13:54:00.000-04:00

Phew. I am actually AHEAD of my goals for the week, can you believe it? I sent my fantasy short off for reviews on Monday, after working really hard to get it done. I have most of the edits in place already (after more hard work), and now, I think all that is remaining is to fiddle with the beginning and ending, to make sure that everything is what it should be. I really want a strong beginning on this one, my ghost is telling me it is very important. So I've already accomplished what I was planning on doing in the latter half of the week :).

So, goals re-visited (wow, I've never had to re-do goals because I was AHEAD of the game before!):

1) Really work at strengthening the beginning of the fantasy short. I'm hoping that by simply re-arranging some events, I can get there. I want to be done with this story by the weekend, and to have it out in the mail on Monday.

2) Start some hard work on my science fiction short. Goal length on this one is about 15,000 words. I need to (blah) outline a little to make sure that I know where things are going. Basically, I know how it starts, and more or less how it ends. I need to clarify how my characters are going to get there. I would love to be done with this phase of it by Sunday, so I can begin the serious writing of it by the start of next week.

3) Longer term goal: I'd like to finish a pretty good first draft of my science fiction story by April 10.

Good luck, everyone!

A Sunday Check-In

2011-03-13T12:23:00.001-04:00

I am sending off a short story (literary), so wish it luck! I am in the midst of some heavy edits on another short (fantasy), and am hoping to submit it to my group next week (I was hoping Wednesday, but we shall see!) for their critiques. I want to submit that one to its destination by the end of the month.

I've "started" writing another short story (science fiction) (well, this one is a bit longer, it could be a novelette). This is actually an idea that I've had for some time, something that had frustrated me in novel form. So I took a step back and re-evaluated things, and I think it would be better in a shorter form. My goal for this one is to be done with a solid first draft by about the second week of April. And while I am writing that one, whenever I feel stuck, I have another short idea that I am going to work on.

I feel way more momentum at this time to work on short stories, so I am rolling with it. I will work on my novel in bouts where I feel blocked on the shorter projects. I always work best when I have multiple projects in different phases going on at once. So I could have a short story being written, another being edited, another being proofread, another being planned/outlined, etc. This way, if I feel blocked in one area, I can go work on another. I find I can be very productive in this way. When my creative mind needs a break, I can work with my analytical mind on editing, etc.

I now finally feel like my little hiatus from writing is OVER, and I am jumping in with both feet! One more goal for the week is to re-evaluate my schedule, and figure out how to use my time more wisely. I feel like I am wasting a lot of time, and things are falling behind; I need to balance the housework with the homeschooling with the writing! Phew!

Have a nice week, everyone!

Life After Loss

2011-03-10T20:07:00.000-05:00

Now that I have been working on it for a couple days, I really have to say,

THERE IS NOTHING WORSE THAN TRYING TO WORK WITH A FIRST DRAFT KNOWING THAT A FEW MONTHS BEFORE YOU HAD A PERFECTLY WONDERFUL THIRD DRAFT WHICH REALLY ROCKED (if I do say so myself).

Seriously, months ago when I had written those chapters which I lost (along with everything else...), I was in the zone. I was really in the world of my story, and I had that gut feeling that it was really good. Now, all I have is a worn hard copy of one single chapter. It's awful, it doesn't even have the voice to it at all, which is what I loved about this story to begin with.

But.... It's a seed. And it will grow. I just have to have faith in it and myself. It's a lot of work; almost it seems, like it's more work than just starting fresh with something new. I need to trust in it though. I know I can't give up on this story. It really has something to say.

Wednesday. Why'd it have to be Wednesday?

2011-03-09T16:03:00.000-05:00

So.....

Let's see. Goals. I finished my revisions of a short story, and sent it off to my writing group. In turn, I received comments and will now sort through them, implement what I will, and then proceed to mail it off to its hopeful destination on either Saturday or Monday.

My ROW 80 goal: I *think* I've figured out the short story (it's actually a bit longer than a short story) that I am going to work on. It's not the story I had mentioned in my "Inspiration" post, that one needs to sit on the back burner and simmer for a while. No, this one is a science fiction idea I have had for a while. I have a bunch of it written, I just need to bash it into shape. I have a deadline of April 14th to have the first draft written and fairly polished. Then I shall send it out to a few readers for critiques. That runs a bit into the second round of ROW 80, but that's OK. The main thing: the goal is realistic. If I tried to have it done for the end of this round, it would just never happen. I am also going to divide this goal up a bit further once i have a better idea of how much work there is ahead of me.

The depressing thing about this story is that I had most of it written last year. Then my hard drive on my computer died and it went bye-bye... along with a lot of other stuff. So now I have to re-create a lot, and there is always the dread that it won't come out as good as it was the first time. But there is no sense in worry about that now.

Get that butt in the chair and write!

Ahhh, inspiration

2011-03-06T10:59:00.000-05:00

Today, I woke up and it was warm enough to open the windows. It is in the 50s, which makes me EXTREMELY happy. So now the windows are open, and the inspiration is flowing once again.

The short story I said I was working on yesterday: I spent several days reworking it, tightening it, trying to figure things out. It is a story I enjoy, an idea I like, but it was consistently getting rejected. I couldn't quite understand why, until last night. It hit me like a brick. The inner conflict just was not there. There was not a big decision the character had to make. It seemed like there was, but when I re-read it yesterday, I could see it was not emotional at all. I could not see how a reader could truly feel connected to the main character. She was flat and not developed well. I think I left things like that because I knew the idea was good, but could not for the life of me think of how to implement things to make it better, to help the characters out. As I said, though, last night a pretty darn good answer came to me, with conflict and tears and all that good stuff that make my stories what they are.

As far as my goals go, this might set me back a bit. I think that I might need the whole week to rework things, which is OK. Better than just rushing things and sending it out before it is ready (like I did last year... Since then, Realms of Fantasy has published two stories that have a similar theme, which made me feel like a schmuck for having this story hanging here not working. But maybe now it is functional).

Hope everyone is having a good day!

Spring Cleaning

2011-03-05T14:11:00.001-05:00

Well, I know that Spring is not officially here yet, but cabin fever has really gotten hold of me, and I have ants in my pants, and all of those other cliches. Things to look out for in the upcoming weeks:

1) Blog makeover Yes, it's that time. Look for some changes in colors and content. While I am enjoying the writing of my historical novel, I do realize that it is probably the only historical novel I am going to write. So I am going to shift the focus of this blog to my other genre of choice, fantasy. I will still update on my progress with my historical novel, but it won't be the main focus.

2) Electronic short stories In the next few months, keep your eyes out for a couple of my short stories. I will make an announcement on here as soon as anything is available.

3) ROW 80 I'm still in it! I just have to rework my goals entirely. I had some real life junk going on, and fell off the track a bit. I'm going to finish round one, and then get ready to really roll in round two! Right now, my goal for the end of round one has changed to this: Get a certain short story finished and polished, and get that sucker out there.

My tasks for this week: Finish the draft of the story I am working on and submit it to my writing group for their critiques.

So, I'd better get to work!

Yes, yes, I'm up!

2011-02-27T09:31:00.000-05:00

I'm still here, I'm still alive...

Things have been a little crazy. I've been branching out a little, trying some new things, mostly relating to artwork. I've been re-working a short story that I wrote a few years ago, tightening it up a bit, getting it ready to go out into the wide world. I submitted a tiny piece to a contest. I've also come across a novel I wrote about 7 years ago that suddenly doesn't seem too bad. I wrote it not ever planning on publishing it; it was a practice run. But as I read through it, I realize that although it definitely needs a ton of work, the story line and the themes are actually quite good. And it is not something that has been written/published to death. It seems to be a pretty fresh idea. So I'm pretty excited to be looking at it again. It has a beginning, middle, and end, but is only about two-thirds the length it needs to be. There are some scenes missing, and others that need to be completely re-thought.

My Roman novel stalled a bit. I am still enjoying the story, but I'm still not positive about the execution. Something about messing with historical characters so much makes me feel a little funky. I'm finding that historical fiction has a different flair to it than fantasy, and I'm not having that sense of wonder that I am used to in my other stories. I fear that I'm doing something wrong. Yes, people who read bits of the story enjoy it, they say they are "transported," but I think the problem lies more with what I want them to feel. Magic. Sure, ancient Rome can be magical, and when I write it, I can definitely feel the magic. But I do like the sort of adventure writing and reading fantasy brings me. I think perhaps it might be because Spring is so TANTALIZINGLY near, I need some fresh air. I need to work on something a bit different for a little while, and then I'll return to Rome. I seem to run in cycles like that. Which doesn't work for some people, but it does for me, so I'll just run with it.

A Snowy, Snowy Week

2011-02-02T13:21:00.001-05:00

I think it has finally stopped snowing... Until Saturday that is!

I am continuing to make forward progress, which is good. It is not as much as I had hoped, but at least I am doing it. I have days where it seems like it is impossible to get a single word down, and then suddenly the next day I write almost 3000 words in one day. I've had to do a bunch of homeschooling planning because I couldn't let that go anymore, so that took up some time. And for some reason, I'm just never very productive when my husband is home...

I think if I start typing up things that I have written longhand while he is home, and then work on new stuff when he is at work, then maybe I might make more progress. The only problem would be if scenes I have written out of order become obsolete by changes I make in the story when I write it linearly. But even if some things change in the story, it is just the first draft and I can fix them later or reuse them in other places. In this way, I think I can still stay on track with my goal of finishing my first draft. My mini goals might get messed up, getting certain parts done by a certain time, but we will see. I might be able to just catch up, no problem.

I'm excited to get this story written and done; I have so much else I want to write! I would like to take another look at some of my fantasy work I did years ago. The characters are still as alive to me now as they were back then... They still nag at me to finish their stories. I've also been interested in doing art work based on my fantasy stories. At first I had considered doing a graphic novel of sorts, but I'm not sure how that would work. I just have a few scenes very vividly portrayed in my mind, in full color.

Finally, thank you to everyone who has been commenting on my posts and emailing me! Your encouragement means a great deal to me!

Maybe my fingers are just stiff from the cold...

2011-01-26T11:08:00.000-05:00

I haven't been writing as much as I wanted to. My original goal was to have something like 7,000 words by Friday. I'm not sure if I will make that, but I am happy to say that I AM at least writing a significant amount every day. And who knows, maybe I'll make it. The word count is actually not as important as actually writing up to the right point in my story. I am hoping to get to the "inciting incident" by Friday. This would the point at which something really changes for my heroine. the thing that really sets my story in motion. Once I think about it, 7,000 words might be the longest I want that section to be. I will let you know on the weekend how things are shaping up.

It's been so cold here all I want to do is hibernate!

This Wednesday's Check-In

2011-01-19T09:50:00.000-05:00

Still going strong with the ROW 80 goal, and I am looking forward to the change of pace that will come when I start my real first draft on Friday. I've had plenty of time to adjust to new writing hours, so hopefully things won't be that difficult to adjust to. With more writing means less blogging time, however, and I find that I am really only able to give an update once a week, rather than twice!

Lots of snow and ice over the week, which means sleepless nights during which heavy snow and ice come crashing down from off my roof. It is so loud, it sounds like something horrible is happening. The good house news is that Husband drew up plans for the kitchen, the new locations of all appliances and sink and cabinets, and everything seems to fit so well... The kitchen will be a bit smaller (a previous owner thought it would be a good idea to build more kitchen outside the foundation of the house, so we have to fix that), but it will be so much more functional!

Trying to keep a new story idea in the BACK of my mind, where it belongs. A couple more months, and then I can write on it. But I can ONLY write on it if I finish my first draft of this current story. That is my motivation!

A little life, a little writing.... and timelines

2011-01-13T10:01:00.000-05:00

Winter has never been my most productive time. I'm actually doing quite well this year, though. I don't feel like I need to hibernate, although staying in my pajamas all day is very tempting. We started a big project in our house (well, started it for real--it has been partially started for some time now)--ripping up the multi-layered kitchen floor to unearth the 100 year old original floor. Talk about archaeology! We gained an inch of headroom in there.

ROW 80: Still on track. I have a decent "loose" outline going of my story. This week I will be working a bit more on it, concentrating on the first act of the story and trying to get as detailed as I can with that. I feel like I need to do a bit more with my antagonists, too, so I will be free-writing a bit, some things from their POVs (in this story, there are two antagonists, one greater, the other lesser). The difficult thing is that both of these antagonists are people who mean a great deal to my protagonist. But they get in the way of what she wants. They are her entire life; and that is part of the problem. So I really need to know them well, to make sure I get all the emotional stuff in there correctly. On Friday, the 21st, I am planning on "starting" my first draft (I have a lot written for this story so far, but it is rough stuff that I wrote getting to know the story and characters. Now that that work is drawing to a close, I need to redo all of this stuff and make it work for the real story).

A couple weeks ago someone had asked me about timelines, and I had planned on answering them on here, but didn't get a chance to. So I'm going to try now:

I'm writing a historical novel set in Ancient Rome, at a time when lots of things were happening. How do I keep everything straight?

There are a few ways of doing this, and the only thing that makes one better than another is that it works for you. This is what seems to work for me right now, but I might find something better in the future and change it, who knows.

What I do is, take either a notebook or a binder with looseleaf paper in it. For this story, a 1 subject notebook had the perfect number of pages in it, so that is what I used. I take the number of years my story takes place over, and use two pages per year. Then, for every year, I take a post-it note, write the year on the edge of it and stick it on the page so the year is visible when the notebook is closed. On the rest of the note, the part in the book, I write down the initials of my major characters, and their ages for that year next to them. On the actual pages, I write what was happening in history in that year, any significant events that would have shaped the behavior of my characters. Then I write what my characters were doing that year. This way, I can keep track of things easily, and I won't accidentally plan on one of my characters having a dinner party when they would have historically been in exile or something. At the beginning of the book, I also leave two pages blank for writing backstory notes, and two pages at the end for general notes. I've been considering making a pocket in the back to hold copies of maps and diagrams of houses, etc., so perhaps the binder would be a better idea in the end. This all helps with organization, and it can be done on the computer just as easily. So I have heard. Just don't ask me to show you how....

ROW 80 Check in 1

2011-01-08T20:27:00.000-05:00

I've been doing great so far. Making lots of progress--I've had a breakthrough with finding my plot through my characters' wants and problems, rather than trying to force a plot upon my characters. I'm crafting some good drafts of scenes, still in a sort of fluid way. I'm not working on my real "first draft" quite yet, still working with what comes. In a couple weeks I will get all the scenes together and get down to business. But for right now, it's all about the fun of discovery.

ANNOUNCEMENT: I will be attending this year's NECRWA writing conference in Salem, MA, April 29-30. It's going to be a great weekend! Donald Maass will be there! Along with many other very talented and fun-loving folks. There's still time to register!

ROW 80, goal post, part two (more specifics)

2010-12-31T14:56:00.000-05:00

So, in the last post I covered the general parts of my goal, the big pictures. Here I will post the intervals, the stops along the way, the smaller goals that will get me to the bigger goal.

1) Write for two hours a day (at least). I'm not going to have a word goal here, because while I have a rough goal of 1,000 words a day, I do a lot of my writing in longhand, in composition books. So it's hard to get word counts without wasting valuable time!

2) Days 1-20 will be used for getting down story ideas, putting things together, really getting the character motivations down, making sure I REALLY know what this story is about and that everything is pointing to that end. (I will be writing scenes throughout this time, as well, but more random, not in a linear way)

3) The next three weeks will be spent writing the first act.

4) Four weeks will be spent writing act two.

5) There will be a bit more than a week to write act three.

6) Party.

Since my novel is historical, there is obviously a lot of research involved. I've done a lot of it already, but of course there are some minutae of daily life, etc., that I want to be sure to get right. What I"m going to do is for this draft, get the story down, make notes wherever there are things I need to check out or look into further, and then do that research when the draft is done.

A Round of Words in 80 Days: the official goal post--pt 1

2010-12-26T11:49:00.003-05:00

(Part two of this post follows this one; just look at the next post to read it) For those of you who might have missed it, I am embarking on a writing adventure starting on January 3rd, called "A Round of Words in 80 Days." In a nutshell, this is like NaNoWriMo, but for people with lives. People who can't just shut everything down to write like a total maniac for a month. People with kids, with jobs, and with demanding neurotic pet rabbits. NaNo has rules that state you must write a novel of 50,000 words in the 30 days of November. ROW 80 has no rules, other than you need to set SOME sort of measurable goal, attainable by the end of 80 days. It can be research, plotting, writing, editing, whatever sort of writing related goal you can think of.

Well, here it is, folks, my official ROW 80 goal: To write a complete first draft of my novel, Tullia's Shadow. I have no length requirement, because it is just a first draft and things will be added and taken away as I write subsequent drafts. My only requirement is that is be complete with a beginning, middle, and end, and that it be somewhat coherent. At the end, I want to be able to edit/revise in an organized way. I don't want to just have this pile of junk that I can't make heads or tails of, that makes editing a torturous undertaking. I've done that with NaNo, and I won't be doing it again. I have four rough drafts of novels that will never see the light of day because they are such messes I can't bear to even look at them. It was a waste of time and effort, because I would have to start over from complete scratch with all those ideas. At the end of these 80 days, I want to have something that at least somewhat resembles the end product. I don't want perfection, but I do want production.

Every week, I am going to post on this blog my goals for that week. I have a basic plan I will be following, and I will follow up the next week with how I am doing, if I reached my goal for that week or not, what I need to do differently, etc.

And to all the other people on an 80 day writing adventure, good luck!!

The Grass is Always Greener...

2010-12-20T10:04:00.000-05:00

I had a moment of weakness over the weekend.

I've been working my tail off on my WIP (work in progress). Almost every day I have been writing between 500 and 1500 words. The days I have not been writing, I have been thinking, or researching; working in some way related to the story.

Then on Saturday, something unpleasant happened. Un-welcomed company came into my head. One character arrived. He didn't say much. Then, how could he, there were no other characters for him to talk to! But then I realized there was another character there. She was speaking, to him, but he was not answering. Not with words, at any rate. And it made me wonder, why wasn't he talking? Could he talk? Well, yes, I heard him say one word to her. After spending some time with them, I realized that this girl was so in tune with this guy that she didn't NEED him to speak. A twitch of his eyebrow told her one thing, a slight movement of his gaze another. Some situations arose, and I watched and took some notes as they went through them. Then it happened.

Wow, I thought. I really like these characters. They definitely have a story to tell. They have a relationship, and they are in a situation, that is dripping with conflict, both existing and potential. Suddenly, this story seems so much more intriguing than the one I am working on, the one I am probably at this point about half done with the first draft of. This is the story that I was born to write! This is it! I all but convinced myself--stop writing the damned Melitta story. This new story, this is what you should be focusing on. This tells the story you want to tell. You can't do it in ancient Rome; too many rules. My characters are being suffocated, drowned by the rules and social structure. So is the story.

I had a very miserable day yesterday, trying to figure out what on earth I was trying to do. Because I have been writing long enough to know--you can't just drop a story every time something better shows its face. Because when you are writing, something better ALWAYS shows its face. And it always is The Greatest Story Ever. Until you start writing it, and get about halfway done. Then, an idea pops into your head. And it always is The Greatest Story Ever... You get the picture.

Yes, the grass is always greener on the other side. When in Ancient Rome, Medieval Japan looks better. When in Medieval Japan, the Tudor Court looks mighty intriguing. While jousting with King Henry, you realize how much you always wanted to ride with the Amazons... And that is fine. That fascination with new things, that exploratory nature, is what makes us good writers. I write because i want to learn about all these people in my head, all these places. But another thing that REALLY makes a writer is self-discipline. You have to be able to finish what you start. Otherwise, what's the point (unless you are simply writing for your own enjoyment, which is fine, but I would STILL encourage you to finish something, and experience that sense of accomplishment. It is like nothing else in the world)?

Strong characters can also be helpful at this point. When I get especially frustrated, and want to just give up and move on, I spend some time with my characters, because ultimately, that is what the story IS. If I enjoy the company of my characters, then of course, I want to spend more time with them. When you have strong characters, it no longer comes as a surprise when, say suddenly, in the middle of the night, Tiro pops into your head and says to you, "Do you really think I made it as far as I did by following the rules?" (in response to your frustration with some of the "rules" of Ancient Rome). Ding dong! Of course not!

Which brings me to another thing that REALLY makes a writer. You have to be just a little, slightly, insane.

A Round of Words in 80 Days

2010-12-19T15:05:00.000-05:00

For those of you peeking on here from over at the ROW 80 site, yes, I have signed up. But I have no idea what my goal is quite yet; I wanted to see how much progress I had made on my WIP, and see if I wanted to take a break from that and do an outline/rough draft on a new project, or if I just wanted to charge ahead and finish the first draft of my WIP. So stay posted, and I will announce my goal by the new year!

There is no spoon.

2010-12-16T11:26:00.000-05:00

When we are learning how to do something, when we are training, we often do it by imitation. Or we do it by following another's lead. The master says jump; we jump. The master says, "This must happen in act one," and so it must. The master says, "Begin at the beginning, and write through to the end." We do it. And we meet some medial success.

But after a while (2 years, 5 years) of really writing, something happens. We surprise ourselves. It feels good, and so we want to continue. It SOUNDS good. And it works.

But it's not what the master ordered.

A tendril of fear might creep into your heart at this thought; panic, even. "Am I doing something wrong?" you might wonder. After all, that guy there, he is the MASTER. He knows what's right. Right?

Well, yes. But he knows what is right for him. You... Well, you are another matter entirely. No one can tell you how to be you.

Ask yourself--why am I off the path? Is it because you think master's rules are dumb and you just want to do it your way? Or did a lightbulb turn on while you were working into the night?

One of my masters told me once that you cannot break a rule unless you know the rule. Unless you can master the rule, and know it inside and out, and use the rule to make your words behave the way you want them to. I resisted her at first, like a rebellious teenager. I thought, "Well, maybe YOU had to do that..." So I started breaking rules. And the result was... well, broken stories. Nothing would work the way I wanted it to, everything sounded wrong. So, humbly, I gave in, let go of my ego, and followed the rules. Then, a funny thing happened.

I realized one night that by mastering the rules...they didn't seem as confining as before. In fact, by practicing the rules for so long, it almost seemed that there were no "rules" anymore. Because I knew the rules so well, because I didn't even have to think about them anymore, they began to work for me in a way they never could have before. I had the power.

The feeling was unmistakeable. You KNOW you've got it. You KNOW you are on to something. If you have that feeling, the real feeling and not just a "I want to have that feeling" feeling, then it is safe to say you can deservedly take a tentative step in your own direction. And you will continuously go back and forth, on the path, off the path, for some time to come.

Then, you will come to another realization.

You see, even the masters cannot describe everything, and they know better than to even try. Writing is only part craft after all. The other part is art, and trying to put that aspect into words, trying to teach that aspect, is all but impossible. As soon as you find a word to describe it, it changes. As soon as you pinpoint it, it moves. It is elusive. But it is there. After some time, if you have what it takes, you will come to the realization that form does indeed follow function. If you have the tools--your words and craft--then you can use them to build what you need, whatever it is. And that is where the art comes in. Art is what gets created when you can wield your craft in such a way to make it truly work for you, to do whatever you bid it to do. Once you do that, you'll realize that you're not following a path. You are making your own. And if you look back, one day you might find others following you.

It's exactly like Neo's spoon in the movie, "Matrix." The kid told him, do not try to bend the spoon. Realize the truth--there is no spoon. If you try to break the rules, all you will end up with is something broken. Instead, work hard enough until you have earned knowledge of the truth: there are no rules. At least, the rules are not the static, concrete things that they seem.

Go buy this magazine!!!

2010-12-12T10:29:00.002-05:00

Congratulations to friend Fay Brawner, whose story, "Stardom" appears in the Winter 2010 issue (Volume 12, Issue 4) of The First Line literary journal (click on the link and it will being you to the right place). Fay's story is the first in the magazine, on page 5. The First Line is a different literary journal--they supply you, as the title suggests, with a first line. It is your job to use the first line in a personal and unique way, to write a great story stemming from that line. The issue is only $3.50 for a print copy, and $2.00 for a PDF. That's less than the price of one of those fancy caffeinated beverages with all that junk in it that will make you fat! And, if you like Fay's story, be sure to email them (info@thefirstline.com) and let them know! If anyone has any personal remarks for Fay about her story, you can email me at writing.madleigh@gmail.com and I will be sure she receives your comments!

Historical Accuracy, or, More Resistance

2010-12-05T14:39:00.000-05:00

Nothing freezes a project faster than fear. Writers have many different types of fear. "What will my mom think?" "What if no one wants to read what I write?" "My story sounds like everyone else's." "My story doesn't sound like anything else..."

The fear that has popped up most often for myself is "What if I have it wrong?" Sure, it's FICTION. It is made up. Cicero never had the particular slave about whom I am writing. I am writing a purely fictional story within a historical framework. But sometimes, that framework can feel very restricting.

I love ancient Rome, and I am certainly no stranger to it. I studied it for five years in junior high and high school, and I studied it sporadically throughout my college career. I did better on my Latin SAT 2 than I did on my English! I won the Junior Classical League's silver medal twice. I received an honorable mention for a short story I wrote for Monmouth College ages ago about Catiline. I know my stuff. But maybe I know it too well. I have this awful fear of messing up. Historical fiction fans have no qualms about letting you know if you have messed something up. And to be honest, I have a pretty thick skin. I can take harsh criticism. It's not the criticism that worries me, but the injustice I would be doing to my topic. I like being right.

I do a lot of research. I probably spend at least an hour per day researching details of daily Roman life. That does not include the larger topics I must research. In my stories, if something is an established fact, I do not like to go against it for convenience sake. If someone is dead, they are dead, it doesn't matter how nifty it would be to have them talk to a character at a certain time (I am thinking of an ABC miniseries a few years ago where Cicero was present at Octavian's triumph over Mark Antony. Hello?). I've been told by many people, "It's fiction, and we, as writer's, have artistic license."

Well, yes, this is true... to a point. This is why I can have my main character be who she is, where she is. It wouldn't have happened like that in real life. But I take what I know of Cicero, which, thanks to his plethora of correspondence, is a lot, and use it to explore an idea; namely, about household slavery. A whole aspect of the idea would be lost, however, if I could just make up stuff to "fill in the blanks." I'm sorry, but if history and my story cannot agree on something, it is my story that much change, not the history. And I have a pretty fair amount of material I can fudge, at any rate, because so little is known about it. I can take plausible guesses and run with them; until I hit a roadblock, that is.

The things that make me freeze, however, are the minute details (and sometimes, those not-so-minute details) that could be so easily overlooked. I can't name them. I do as much research as I am able, and I write as accurately as I can, but I KNOW there will be some sneaky thing that I miss. This petrifies me. It's something I have to get over, but still, it does. And it makes me obsess over things that NO ONE COULD POSSIBLY KNOW. But I can't help but wonder--What if someone does? Questions like: What color were Cicero's eyes? and what was Tiro's personality really like? It really makes you appreciate how small our tiny speck of history really is.

I should not be awake.....or Resistance

2010-12-03T05:58:00.000-05:00

I am not a morning person. Never have been. In fact, from the day I was BORN, I have been keeping my mother company in the world of Night Owls, and have always enjoyed sleeping in in the morning. Right now it is 5:30 AM... I got up at 5. At about 4:30 I woke up and was just WIDE AWAKE. I thought I would try to get up, and then when I felt tired again, I would go back to bed. Well, it's not working. So I figured I'd do a blog post. What the heck, right?

So, for the past three days I have been implementing new tricks and things to help my word counts be what they used to be PFC (Pre Family Crises). So far it has been working. My goal so far is to write 1,000 words per day, which compared to what I used to write, is not that much. And so far, every day, I have made or exceeded that count. This makes me very happy. I feel like a writer again, I feel like I am myself. I am proving to myself that even though I homeschool my son who has some special needs, I can be a whole person for myself too, which is extremely important. And I can have a clean bathroom while maintaining a decent word count. That is important too :).

When my son was born, I was able to write as I pleased. I wrote more then than I ever had (other than in college, when I didn't really sleep. I think I went three years without more than four hours a sleep per night..). I attribute it to hormones. While my son napped, I wrote, and when he was in bed "for the night" I wrote until he woke up hungry at 2AM. Then I would nurse him and go to bed. Then, other than random wakings at about 5 or so, I would get up with him at about 8 and carry on. I could write upwards of about 5,000 words a day. That was the best thing---writing that much really helped me, even if most of it was junk, find my voice, find what was interesting to me. Almost all those words were experimentation, getting ready. It wasn't until my son was about 1, or seven years ago, that I began thinking, "Hey, I can do this professionally..."

Then... My son started to get older. He took fewer naps. He stopped nursing so the wonder woman hormones went away and I started to get tired again. We started looking at buying a house. SO my word counts plummeted. But I was still writing. It was all good, and I didn't really mind.

Then... Well, LIFE started happening in a big way. All kinds of family crises, sickness, death, and other various tragedies. And I began to feel clogged. Clogged and drained at the same time, which is not a pleasant state at all.

The worst thing about that state is that you get desperate. I was desperate to find the answer, so I looked outside of myself, to what worked for everyone else. And I tried it all. None of it worked. Everyone had answers, everyone had these foolproof plans of what to do when resistance hit. I tried every last one of them. NOTHING WORKED. Until one day, I woke up and said, "What am I doing? This is not me! I am not this anal retentive person who plans every second of the day, who has to have 10AM snack time, 11 AM sewing time, 1 PM writing time. I've never been a box type, boxes give me claustrophobia and make things worse. But I couldn't see that. All I could see was that nothing was working, and I was panicked.

So, I decided to let go. I went back to seven years ago, and I said, "What DID work for ME?" Just me, no one else. What worked before I started taking myself too seriously. Well, it was having a very visual goal (like my goal status bar I have now in Scrivener, my favorite writing program), not with numbers but with an actual thing where I could see my progress in a physical way (it's an ADHD thing). Also, I have to work in bursts. I can't say, "1 PM is my designated writing time." That does not work for me. All day is my writing time. When I have the goal and status bar set, I can tell how much I have to work. If I get that done by the time my husband gets home, I can relax and watch a movie with him at night. If not, then I work into the night. During the day, I help my son learn, I do some housework, make meals, and in between, I write. If my son wants to play for a while, I take a break. I go back to it when I can. Fifteen minutes to a half hour of intensive concentrated writing is what works for me. That's how I write first drafts.

My point here is, there are as many different ways of writing as there are people in the world. You are the only one who writes exactly like you. Don't throw your methods out because someone else is "right." Sure, give other things a try, while you are still going through the writing process. But don't give up on yourself and your own methods too. Your subconscious probably knows what works best for you, and it comes naturally.

And now, good night! Or good morning, if you choose to look at it that way...

More waiting... or, On Submitting

2010-11-30T12:02:00.000-05:00

There's another step in the short story writer's dance. This is my least favorite, but it is also the step that seems like it is always there.

WAITING............

I'm at the point in my career where the waiting is not as hard as it used to be. When I first started submitting professionally, the waiting was torture. Then, after you get rejected a few times, you're not so very anxious to get an answer, because usually, it is "no thanks." When you start getting things published, the waiting period becomes a bit torturous again, because you just don't know. You can't ASSUME that things are going to be rejected. After all, someone did like your stuff well enough before to publish it. But you know better than to get your hopes up too high. Now, I just take things as they come. I also have a better feel for my stories, and what their chances are at certain places. For example, right now I have a short story out that is on the experimental side. I know it will be harder to get that one published in a mainstream journal. So I take that in stride.

The most important thing you can do when you are ready to submit (other than making sure the story really IS ready to submit, and by that, I mean you've had people other than yourself read it and give you constructive criticism, you've rewritten it and revised it until you can't stand to look at the thing anymore, then you've put it away for at least a month, looked at it with fresh eyes after it's rested, revised again, etc.) is to research the market. Give your work an honest look. Sure, we'd all like to be published in the New Yorker, but would your story really fit in there? Is it what they publish? Once you have narrowed the market down a bit and found some journals that fit your style, buy some sample copies of issues (or go to a library and read them there). Read the journal, read the other fiction and make sure this is where you belong. Even if you have a story in a certain genre, different magazines within that genre have different feels to them, different moods. Once you've narrowed it down, and you've chosen the place you want to submit to first, scour the world for the name of the fiction editor so your letter to him or her can be specifically addressed. Show them that it is at least that important to you, that you were willing to put that bit of work in. Then, in your letter, briefly mention why you selected that particular journal to submit your story to. There should always be a reason. It can be as simple as, "I found your journal to fit the general tone of my story" or something like that if you can't put a specific thing into words, but put some work into it.

If you put the time and energy into preparing your manuscript, then at least you will be sending it on its way knowing you did all you could. You can get to work on your next story with a clear conscience, knowing the situation is out of your hands and there was nothing more you could have done for it.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2010-11-25T19:29:00.000-05:00

I hope everyone had a lovely Thanksgiving!

There is a long weekend ahead of us. Hopefully I am able to get some writing done. I've been writing out some scenes in longhand, taking more notes and working with my story timeline a bit. I'll be posting later in the week hopefully about one of the ways I outline when I am writing historical fiction, hopefully readers will find it helpful with their own work.

Tomorrow is Black Friday, the day I will hopefully NOT be going out shopping. I have already completed most of my holiday shopping. I really hate the crowds, and I know my son can't handle them. So instead we will be getting our home ready to decorate.

The Endless Waltz...

2010-11-19T09:57:00.004-05:00

Revise, submit, reject; revise, submit, reject; revise, submit, reject....

It's an endless dance, that repeats over and over... But we keep on doing it because the story is part of ourselves, and we believe in it. We have to. No one is going to believe in us FOR us.

Your confidence shines through in your writing. If your story is not confident, it will never sell. So believe in your story, put everything you've got into it, because it is worth every ounce of the effort. Then send it out. Again, and again, and again....

Every once in a while...

2010-11-17T13:01:00.003-05:00

...I come across a book that makes me very, very happy, because I feel like someone UNDERSTANDS. Today's book is called Refuse to Choose!: Use All Your Interests, Passions, and Hobbies to Create the Life and Career of Your Dreams, by Barbara Sher. It shows a way for someone like me who is truly interested in almost everything to be able to not feel overwhelmed and unfocused. She calls people like me Scanners. People who are drawn to so many things, they can't just choose one to focus on. I know that I have gone through life constantly nagging at myself and down on myself because I want to go in so many directions at once. I feel this constant guilt about not picking ONE THING and staying with it the entire time. But, according to Barbara Sher, I don't HAVE to. Its OK because my brain is just wired that way, and it's time to stop beating myself up over it and just accept who I am. And then she goes on to say HOW.

The sun is teasing today, popping out for a few minutes in between the huge dark rainclouds. I need to finish winterizing outside, which also means rescuing the various plastic insects and farm animals my son has out there. And Friday, the cement dude comes to give us an estimate on our stairs! Yay! Next is Old Hickory, before he falls on our roof, and the roof. Ugh, the roof...

Finally figured a way out of my stuck place in Melitta, my Cicero story. Now I just have to research some yummy desserts or fancy things they ate or drank in Ancient Rome where someone could "accidentally" slip some ink. Ho-ho...

I'm here, I'm alive, really.

2010-11-16T12:42:00.004-05:00

A little worse for the wear, but I'm here.

I've gone through some massive family hurdles in the past year, personal things that I am not going to get into here very much. But, as they say, what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. I'm trying to be stronger!

I did get a bit of writing done during this hubbub, but not much. I'm desperate to return to life as normal, whatever that is. I did register for the 2011 NECRWA conference in Salem MA. Hopefully it will help to get the spirits up (literally...it is at the Hawthorne Hotel, and everyone knows that place is HAUNTED!).

It may sound crazy, but maybe the loss I've suffered and the roller coaster of a year I've had will give me the experience I need to be a better writer. Now if only I can beat this resistance that is piling up against me...

PS-And I am still considering changing my name. I mean, some of the search hits are GROSS! Maybe I just need ot become way more famous than the you-know-what girl?

OK, this is disturbing....

2010-06-01T20:20:00.004-04:00

So you know how every now and then you google yourself just to see what comes up? Well, I know very well about the designer Madison Leigh. But..... the video of the girls on the couch, er, flatuating? Yes, you read that right. Just to get the record straight, THAT IS NOT ME!!!!!!!! Nor is the naked lady in the bathub. No. Not me. Not at all.

Good lord, I have to change my name.

How insane is this?

2010-06-01T19:46:00.003-04:00

It's been a whole YEAR?!?!??!

Yes, it has been a whole year since my adventures with adoption began, and my writing life died off a bit. But I am trying to get back in the swing of things again! I'm not even sure what to report... I have been so busy for the past couple years that my writing life was crippled. I started just writing desperately in any spare second, and went from this story to that, and really didn't accomplish much. I felt a bit lost as far as who I was as a writer, WHAT I wrote, and I gave myself writers block (AKA resistance, anyone?) trying to answer those questions.

Then, a 13 year old boy who needed some help popped into my life. WOW. My life changed completely, topsy turvy. The word exhaustion took on a whole new meaning! And everything took on a whole new priority. Writing dropped way down on the list, as did most other things that had to do with me myself and I. But....

I did come to realize that I DO need things for me. If I can't sit down every once in a while and have some me time, I would go insane! And that would not be help to anyone. SO here I am again.

Phew.

Tiiiired

2009-06-02T20:30:00.003-04:00

I've been cleaning up limbs and brush from the ice storm. Again.

The first time, we cleaned it up into a pile in the yard, waiting for the city to decide when they were going to pick up the stuff (they had announced they would). Well.... we waited.... and waited... Then they announced, "OK, we're going to start picking it up, but not from private roads."

Guess what I live on.

So I did the American thing. I brought the brush down the road and put it onto the public street. And I ONLY put storm debris down there, unlike some people who think it's OK to put Christmas trees and grass clippings and WEEDS there for the city to collect. Idiots.

I got about two pages written on my short story today. Hit a couple of snags, but I'm blaming it on self doubt.

Oh and here's a call out to Vern Roberts: I hope you feel better soon.

Oh, I'm writing!

2009-06-01T21:06:00.002-04:00

Yes!!!! I'm writing a short story AND a novel. I am psyched. The short is a really old one that I found in a folder on my computer from like, two computers ago. I submitted it until it was dead, getting wonderful rejection letter from many editors who loved it but couldn't publish it. At the time--and this was like five years ago--I was scratching my head. If they loved it, why couldn't they freaking publish it? I put it away and haven't read it in years. TOday I got an idea. I printed the sucker out, and.... OMG. Did I actually WRITE this? I actually wrote this BADLY and sent it out thinking it could be PUBLISHED???? Yeah. See, the editors loved it because it was a good story. But the actual writing of the thing... ugh. What a horrible way to execute that story. The poor thing. So anyway, I'm completely rewriting it from start to finish. I'm hoping to have a good draft done by mid-month, and then have a final draft done by mid-July. Then I'm sending it out...

My other project is a big one. A multiple book series idea is really growing on me. I have been writing that too. One day at a time.

The coffee quitting is going OK. Cheated a little today because we had a free mocha at Borders. But I've only been drinking coffee in the mornings now (other than said mocha), and it's been ok. The next step is going from two cups in the AM to one.

Agony agony agony....

2009-05-30T08:58:00.002-04:00

I feel like I'm about to turn into Dr. Manhattan... See, I am trying to get off the coffee. I drink way too much, and the physical manifestations are starting to annoy me (I have a weird heartbeat thing, and obviously, any stimulants make it worse). So now I am seriously cutting back (and maybe... MAYBE cut it all together, but at this point, heh, yeah. Right.), and ruing the day. I mean, I slept like a rock last night, but woke up with my head feeling like it wants to suck itself inside out. I think it may go nuclear soon. OR perhaps it will become a black hole and just suck everything into it. Instead of a person, I'll just be a gravity well.

And of course, two gulps of Sumatran delight later, I feel human again. *DING*

Writing: Well... With everything going on, the adoption, some other stressors (You KNOW who you are, even though you may not read this, or know who I am... My wrath is such that you will sense it in your sleep... you will be haunted....), etc, my writing life has been thrown for a loop. So I decided not to stress it at all. This is a transitional time for me. Of course things are going to be weird.

Then I got this idea...

A 5-7 book idea. I'm not the 5-7 book sort of girl. The thought of something that big kind of scares me. I mean, talk about a sagging middle... You think trying to keep the middle of something 100,000 words long interesting is..if not difficult, at least WORK, think of working with something freaking 700,000 words long! CRAZY. And it's fantasy, of course, which has always been my favorite genre. And I already have a lot of work done on it, because it sort of incorporates a lot of other stuff I had worked on in the past. I'm actually really excited about it. Need to think of a working title though.

Writing like Tetris

2009-05-13T21:09:00.003-04:00

I feel like I'm playing that game Tetris, moving pieces around form story to story, seeing where they fit. My young adult novel is becoming a science fiction novel. Suddenly, two of my novels just seemed to fit together in a strange, uncanny sort of way.

My husband and I were excited for about fifteen minutes, as we started to plan a trip to WorldCon in Montreal this summer. Then we realized that my mom has plans that can't be changed for that weekend, and can't watch the Chief. There's no way we can really bring him; he would go crazy. They childcare there, but it's pretty expensive, and plus, I would be having nightmares the whole time (he has a peanut allergy, the deadly sort where he has a reaction if you touch him after you touched a peanut even if you washed your hands). So no, I don't think it's going to happen. Even though Neil Gaiman is going to be there and.... I JUST REALLY WANTED TO GO!! Such is life, though. "You pays yer money, you makes yer choice," as Humphrey Bogart says in African Queen. We'll just have to think of another fun vacation opportunity that all of us can do. Without Neil. I could invite him, but I think he's kinda busy.

Second MAPP class (about adoption) tomorrow. At some point there is going to be role playing. I can't wait... I can do a pretty good six year old ;).

Catching up, finally!

2009-05-10T20:29:00.002-04:00

So my blog has finally gotten its well deserved make-over. I've had so much going on lately that I'm lucky I can post at all! Plus new story ideas and having to go over old stories to submit. We are reaching the end of a lot of literary journals' reading periods, so I'd better get cracking. I have one short story sitting on my desk, finished, just waiting for revision.

We are getting a lot of yard work done. The grass that husband planted a couple weeks ago is coming in, and it looks GREAT. Much better than the old mud pit we had on the side of the house. If only there was some sort of magic spell that could make concrete and glass disappear, we would be all set!

And the news.... I had mentioned that husband and I were doing something. Well, we have applied to adopt a child, a boy. My son has been asking for a brother for a while now, and we have always wanted more kids. So, there you go! We are taking classes about how to parent a child who has not had a great life until now, and how to deal with whatever issues he might have. We had a home safety check a couple years ago, which seemed to go great until Little Chief threw a fit when the social worker had to go home! Ah, well, c'est l'enfant for you. I'm sure a social worker knows how kids are, but still, I was a bit embarrassed! "Yeah, we'll let you have another one..."

Hello, Spring!

2009-04-22T17:34:00.004-04:00

It's been rainy the past couple days, but I don't mind it--it's WARM! Well, warmish. This weekend is supposed to be very warm, around 80 degrees. Hurray! I'm not a big fan of HOT weather, but the cold, damp weather really stinks. My son and I like to be outside in the sun! There's nothing like a gentle breeze, soft sunshine, and the smell of roses to get me in the writing mood. Until a stray soccer ball whacks me in the head, that is! Ah, well. Much better than being stuck inside.

The novel is going fairly well. I'm taking a pretty zen approach to my writing these days. My writing just is. I'm not making big projections about when I will be done, I'm not setting huge goals. I feel happy with the way things are going. It's slow, but there is more to life than writing. For me, at least. I know some authors just don't work that way. They need a strict rigid schedule, and have to do things a certain way. Well, I do things in my own way, it's true; I sit on the couch at night with my computer on my lapdesk and type while my husband does whatever he does; usually something music related.

The publication of "Blood and Ashes" has had its glow... Now it's time to get something else out there. I have a short story that is close to done, I just have to finish polishing it up.

My husband and I made an important decision the other day. It's something we've been thinking about doing for over TEN YEARS. But we've been petrified to take the first step. I'll let you know more details as they emerge.

Until later...

Basking in the post-conference glow

2009-04-02T16:14:00.002-04:00

Things are finally coming together in novel-land. I've finally made a few important decisions that have been holding up the entire project. Unfortunately, the path I'm taking requires that I get rid of one of my favorite scenes in the book. I mean, I guess I can use it in a subsequent book, but man, I just loved my hero in that scene. Ah, well, life.

The weather is getting better (meaning, warmer!). Things are growing. I'm slowly emerging from my hibernation cave. Hopefully I'll be sending a short story off on its merry way tomorrow.

Home again, James

2009-03-29T16:49:00.002-04:00

The NECRWA conference is over, and WOW am I tired. It was a great conference, and a lot of fun. The workshops were excellent, I think some of the best I have been to. I feel like I came away from it with a lot of new info to mull over. It was great to see all the familiar faces, and meet so many nice new people as well. I feel very energized now!! If only I wasn't so exhausted...

Busy times

2009-03-25T14:31:00.004-04:00

NECRWA is only a couple days away!!

I'm not pitching anything this year, not for this conference. I'll be relaxing and enjoying the workshops. And the food. And some great company!

Right now, as far as work goes, I am trying to deal with issues of historical accuracy, in particular, with the subject of slavery. Many scholarly people make it out like being a slave in ancient Rome was... if not exactly pleasant, tolerable. In reality, slavery is slavery. When you are a slave, you are a piece of property for your master to do with as he sees fit. Roman slaves were allowed to marry if their master's allowed it, but then your family could be split up at the drop of a sesterce, and even though you were married, your master could still use your wife however he wished. A master could be kind because you are his property, but he would be kind to you in the way that you are kind to a dog. You would be nothing more than an ignorant animal to him. There were a few exceptions, of course. There were some that weren't treated as animals, but as children. Romans did free their slaves, but not as often as is portrayed in fiction and movies. A slave could buy his freedom, but how could he raise the money? It happened sometimes, but not often. When a slave was freed, he still was obligated to his former master, paying him fees, doing work for him, etc. My point: being a slave in ancient Rome was unpleasant business.

In my book, I am walking a fine line. I must deal with the issue of slavery, and do so in a way that is accurate and tasteful and creative, not cliche. Fun stuff! But I've always enjoyed a challenge!

Blood and Ashes

2009-03-22T20:22:00.003-04:00

It is officially up! My story "Blood and Ashes" is in the 3.1 issue of Prick of the Spindle. Go take a look and tell me what you think.

Back to work, my Roman romance is calling me!

Ah, publication...

2009-03-08T12:06:00.004-04:00

Since I saw the birds out this morning, I figured I can come out of my winter hibernation, too.

Where did the winter go? I've been keeping pretty busy, both in my writing and non-writing life.

I'm headed to the NECRWA Conference at the end of the month with my buddy Jen. It should be a ball! It is in one of the nicest hotels in the area, too, a very beautiful place, the Sheraton Tara in Framingham, MA.

I saved some of the best news for last! My short story, "Blood and Ashes," is FINALLY going to be published. I've received so much praise for it from publishers, who then go on to say, "However, due to financial constraints, we are unable to publish anything at this time..." Or "We truly enjoyed this piece and think the writing is of the highest quality; however, this upcoming issue is going to be our last..." It is a sad time in the literary world. It seems there are more people than ever submitting, and fewer magazines being published. SO go out and support a literary journal!

I will post more details about where you can find "Blood and Ashes" later in the month, as more details emerge.

Surviving

2008-12-18T15:38:00.002-05:00

We survived the ice storm, even though we were in one of the worst hit areas. The night of the storm was the scariest of my life, and I have no wish of repeating it--EVER! There were trees crashing everywhere, and all I could think about was one of them coming through the roof. Our telephone pole snapped, along with all the rest on my end of the street. A couple houses within sight of ours ended up with trees on them, and there is a huge mess to clean up. The tree at the end of the road which Theodore Roosevelt planted at the beginning of the 1900s was smashed to smithereens. So were many other trees (I don't think there is a single undamaged tree), but this one was a huge oak, and it saddens me that it will probably have to be taken down. We were without power from the night of the 11th through the night of the 16th. Thousands of people still don't have power, and believe me, it is COLD out there. Inside our house got down to 42 degrees. We got a small generator so we could plug in a couple oil filled space heaters, so we had two warm rooms. I really feel bad for those who were not able to even do that.

Not much writing got done in the dark and cold, but now that we have power, I'm trying to catch up a bit. Working on a secret project, which will hopefully be done in a couple months so I can come clean with it! I'll call it "AVC" for now.

Christmas is that time of year...

2008-12-09T12:48:00.002-05:00

Everything is crazier than usual, and the worries are more worrisome... Everything seems magnified during the holidays. With the economy going the way it is, I'm finding that I need to accelerate a few of my goals, make them realities so perhaps next Christmas won't be so tight.

Writing has been going well. I have a few projects going on which are progressing at various degrees. I'm still trying to figure out if I can attend this year (meaning 2009)'s NECRWA conference. Last year was so fun, and I'd love to go again, but I'm not sure if it's going to work out this time. Whether I go or not, I'm going to try to make the time as productive as possible.

So things have been slumpy lately, and I've seen that a lot of my friends are slumpy too. We are all trying different things to pull ourselves out of it. You can see what friend Janelle is doing here. Me, I've decided to just change my mind. I'm just not going to be depressed anymore. can take control of the things that I have control over, and the things I can't... Well, what's the sense in worrying so much about them? I have no control over them, I can't change them. SO I'm just not going to be depressed.

I'll let you know how that's working for me...

Words of Wisdom

2008-11-20T17:34:00.002-05:00

Yesterday I was having a rough time. It was the two year anniversary of my grandmother's death, and I was not feeling well all day. Plus I had some issues on the home front, kid issues, which have been extremely frustrating. I haven't been able to find as much writing time as I thought I should, and life kept seeming to get in the way. Then my wise friend doled me out three words which described how another author who had less than optimal circumstances for writing worked:

Slowly, deliberately, and well.

After hearing that, I took a breath, and said, yeah, that's where I want to be. So thanks for reminding me, Celine Shinbutsu of Japan :).

Rabbits, rabbits, everywhere...

2008-11-14T23:27:00.004-05:00

Wow, so much has been going on.

Plotting, plotting, researching, reading, translating. I'm even writing a little of the actual story. But I am getting some work done, which is great. My story feels like clay in my hands, and I am molding it into the form I want.

On Sunday, I went to Petco for a regular old food and litter run for the bunnies and guinea pigs. Well... There was this poor bunny there, dirty, dusty, and smelly, and being tortured by a small unsupervised child. It's cage was dirty and disgusting. I looked at my husband, and he went right over to the store person and asked what was up with it. Turns out, someone dumped the bunny there with no note, no info, nothing. So guess what. We now have a new rabbit. I think she is a girl, and am hoping that in a couple weeks we won't be having a litter of little baby bunnies. It won't be so bad if we do, but it would be much more convenient if we don't. So she has a vet appointment on Tuesday. Last Saturday we had to go for one of the other buns, who had a bout of Pasteurella. He had to be on antibiotics all week, but he handled it like a trooper. I've never had ANY animal take medicine so easily, never mind a rabbit! Hopefully we won't have any more health problems for a while!

I was sooo angry about the fact that people think they can just dump their pets anywhere. There are plenty of places to bring your pets if you can't take care of them any more. I'm sorry if you feel guilty about dumping an animal, but you SHOULD feel guilty. You took on a responsibility when you took it in. The least you could do if you can't take care of it any more, is provide the new owners with some information about it. ANY information. The people at the pet store did not even know the poor rabbit's sex, the previous owners just dumped the cage and ran off.

I would like to thank Petco in Auburn, MA for the great job they do with the adoptions. Not only was the rabbit free, but they gave me $20 of pet supplies for free, plus a coupon book with $40 worth of coupons in it. It certainly makes it easier on the new families, and it was welcome news, especially when I was so upset at seeing the poor bunny in such a state. And I would also like to thank Pam Bolton of Sweet Binks Rabbit Rescue in RI, where I adopted two of my other buns, for answering all my questions and offering her very sage advice. The woman is like a Rabbit saint!

Phew!

2008-11-03T11:58:00.004-05:00

Sorry about the long absence (again....). Things have been their usual whacko selves.

The NJRWA conference was AWESOME!! My friend Jen and I had so much fun there, the people were great and friendly. We met some new people. I had my picture taken with J.R. Ward (I told her that she is my new hero. She seems to work in a similar way that I do, and it's working for her! So that means it should work for me, too, right?). I learned so much, and was reminded of more things that I knew, but just had to hear again. It was very energizing.

It's getting cold. Freezing. Which I would mind so much, but it makes my fingers very stiff, and it's hard to type with stiff fingers!

Still working very hard on Mea Tullia. I'm trying to find a good balance between researching, writing, and planning. My goal for the end of the month is to have all the major scenes sketched out in narrative, and hopefully a lot of the in between scenes as well. By the end of this month I should definitely know everything that is going to happen in the novel, and when/where in the novel it will take place.

I fixed up and sent out FIVE short stories over the weekend. I have one more that needs to have an overhaul, and then maybe I'll find that one a home too...

What's harder than keeping a secret?

2008-10-07T15:10:00.003-04:00

Answer: trickling out the secret little by little so that maybe readers get it, maybe not. It can't be too obvious, but all the info has to be there from the beginning so that when the book is done, the reader says, "Hey, DUH! I should have seen that coming!" It can't be so clear that the narrator or main character seems thick for not getting it right away. If the reader should figure it out, they should be sympathetic with the MC for not seeing through the shroud of deception. Little lines form characters can foreshadow the truth, but can't be like a mallet beating the reader on the head.

Yesterday I had one of those "aha!" moments where the motivations for my characters because much clearer. The fiction part of the "historical fiction" really started to work. I feel a bit funny playing, "what if?" with a guy like Cicero, but really, I think I've come up with a situation for him which really gives him a reason for many of the things he did. On the surface, when one reads a book about such a well-documented person, it might seem like there is little one can contribute. But on a personal level, day to day life, with his family, we really don't know much of anything in the large scope of things. We get a rare glimpse through his letters with Atticus into some of his personal matters (nothing beats the letter in which he confesses a bad bout of diarrhea after eating something foul), we can even see some of the sincerity behind some of the letters with his wife by looking at the letters themselves (the tear-smeared ink of one of his letters when he was in exile). But we can only guess at the things that lie between and behind these things.

Another thing I find fascinating is the polarity of people's opinions of Cicero. D.R. Shackleton Bailey touched on this in the afterword of his Cicero: Classical Life and Letters. Here, he quotes a story by Kingsley Amis called "Take a Girl like You," whose main character is a young schoolmaster reading the Second Philippic (oration against Mark Anthony) in class (from chapter 5):

The last forty minutes had been spent in taking, or rather hauling, the Junior Sixth through not nearly enough of In Marcum Antonium II. For a man so long and so thoroughly dead it was remarkable how much boredom, and also how precise an image of nasty silliness Cicero could generate. 'Anthony was worth ten of you, you bastard," Patrick said.

The final paragraph of Shackleton Bailey's afterword was one of the things which inspired me to write about Cicero in the first place:

Is it not time to value Cicero by other standards than his own? Not as a statesman, moralist, and author, but as the vivid, versatile, gay, infinitely conversable being who captivated his society and has preserved so much of himself and it in his correspondence. Alive, Cicero enhanced life. So can his letters do, if only for a student here and there, taking time away from belittling despairs to live among Virgil's Togaed People, desperate masters of a larger world.

Addendum...

2008-09-30T20:19:00.003-04:00

Pantser: One who writes by the seat of her pants. There is no flashing involved. Thank you, Cameron Meadors, for bringing up a very valid question.